Caption Contest Winners
The Binge and Purge Edition OTB Caption ContestTM is now over.
(via CowboyBlob)
The Winners:
First: McGehee – New evidence surfaces which suggests the Warren Commission may have concluded wrongly after all.
Second: FormerHostage – An anonymous detective was quoted as saying, “This is almost as bad as that cereal killer we had last year.”
Third(tie): Gollum – After viewing the crime scene, Nifong rounded up the entire Duke women’s rugby team for a “lineup.”
Third(tie): elliot – Preliminary reports from local police indicate that the BOSTON CREME STRANGLER has struck again, only this time he picked the wrong victim and apparenty ran off when he realized it was JELLY.
Honorable Mention:
FreakyBoy – The Police would not comment on their ongoing internal investigation.
Maggie – After successfully criminalizing trans fats, the Food Police are now investigating refined sugars.
Bithead – More proof that Elvis is alive.
yetanotherjohn – Al Gore blamed the unexpectedly large donuts on global warming, citing this photo as proof.
McCain – Oh my God! Trump killed her! He killed her!
charles austin – How come the tape says do not cross and then they cross them? Is that anything like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters?
Ennuipundit – Police have an APB out for Homer J. Simpson, the alleged assailant. The giant jelly doughnut’s family has requested police protection and is in seclusion.
Wineaholic – OJ found the real killer, and he was delicious.
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
By gauging the amount of jelly donut that had been eaten the inspector could tell it was time for the police to hide the donuts and the children and give a warning to The Donald. Rosie would still be hungry and she would need to feed again… yes, she would need to feed again soon.
When Transfats are outlawed, only outlaws will have Transfats.
Now we know how all that junk got in that trunk.
In protest for their cartoons with the image of the prophet Mohammad, Islamic extremists extract revenge against the danish.
Randall Simon’s aggression towards foods escalated to include pastries and desserts.
It was apparent that Zaphod had been flying the Heart of Gold again.
The 
Thursday Contest is already flapping in the breeze.
Damn. I should have submitted my idea but thought it was too obvious. I’ll make it a late hit:
“The victim’s last words were ‘Ich…bin…ein…Berliner.’”
Unutterable obscurity wins again!