Kimberly Webb Joyner, 1970 to 2011
My wife, Kimberly Webb Joyner, died this morning in her sleep from unknown causes. She was 41.
My wife, Kimberly Webb Joyner, died this morning in her sleep from unknown causes. She was 41.
She leaves behind two little girls she loved more than anything, Katie, who turns 3 on New Year’s Eve, and Ellie, who was born June 21.
We met in August 2004 and were married on October 8, 2005. She had just turned 35 and I was a few weeks shy of 40 but neither of us had been married before. We shared religious and political worldviews but very different personalities. She was extroverted, sunny, and patient to my introverted, grumpy, and antsy. I almost certainly got the better of that bargain.
Kim was my partner, helpmate, and confidante. Her passing leaves a gaping hole in my life.
I still haven’t told Katie. She knows something unusual is going on, since the paramedics came at a little after 1 this morning and the police didn’t leave until well after 4. But she seemed pretty much herself, requesting her favorite cartoons and playing with toys until I got her back to sleep a little while ago. Sadly, neither of my little girls are likely to remember their mommy other than from photos and videos.
The next few days will be stressful, not only dealing with my grief and suddenly becoming a single parent but the throngs of people coming by to pay their respects and deal with their own grief. Kim has a large extended family that she was close to and a lot of friends. While I prefer to deal with people in small groups and small doses, I owe it to Kim to do that for her.
Obviously, I’m still in shock at this unexpected loss. Organizing my thoughts and writing them down is how I process, well, pretty much everything. Words fail me right now.
I am sorry beyond words for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.
James you have my deepest sympathies I am so so sorry you are going through this you and your family are in my prayers god bless you .
Terribly, terribly sorry to hear this, James.
James, you and your girls are in my prayers. What a terrible blow.
So very sorry for your loss. I’ll have you & your family in my thoughts & prayers.
No words.
I don’t even know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss. She’s clearly far too young to be snatched away. I can’t image what we can do to help, but if there is anything, obviously just say the word.
My deepest sympathies for your loss, and for your family’s loss. This is truly terrible news.
My sincere condolences for your loss.
I sit here looking at my own two boys and cannot imagine how I would begin to deal with the loss of my wife. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
James my mother, Marie Schmitt Ely, died when I was barely 5. I was in my 60’s before I read her poetry and posted her story in my blog. (with the help of our son, David.) My dad spent much time with my younger sister and me. He remarried in 3 years. Our stepmother was good to us, I remember a happy childhood. I had a successful career as an intelligence analyst working for the US Army in Charlottesville. Supported by a strong faith (Roman Catholic), my loving wife and I are parents of 4 and grandparents of 4. I was in my late 60s before I understood the price that my dad paid during those early years. I will pray for you and yours during the coming days.
James, I can add that I do have some (visual) memories of my mother. Her poetry – mostly occasional – gives me some sense of her inner life. If it helps, I’ll give you more of my own story, just write me.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in our thoughts.
Very sorry and very, very sad for you and your girls, and her family and friends James. My prayers and sympathies are with you all.
James–I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. My heart goes out to you and your daughters.
Oh, James. You and your little girls. So sorry. So sorry.
I can only echo Don Sensing’s thoughts, James. You, Katie and Ellie are in my prayers.
I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through…so words fail me. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I am so sorry. You have my condolences and prayers.
I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss. Best wishes for you and your daughters going forward.
Heartbroken for you and your family. Words are hard to find, but you are all in my thoughts.
I am so sorry to hear that, my thoughts are with you & your little girls.
Marco
You and your family will be in my thoughts. So sorry.
James, I am so sorry for your loss…this tragedy. Please know that your followers here are thinking of you and praying for you and your family.
My God, James. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You all are in my thoughts and in my prayers.
Thoughts and prayers sent.
So sorry for your loss. Will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
My utmost sympathies James. May God watch over you and your little girls during this time.
Very sad news.
we are all so sorry.
My condolences,James.
God bless you and your two little angels. Unbearable…
Such a tragedy. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Oh James, I am so sorry!
I’m terribly sorry.
I know you’ll get through this.
James,
My deepest sympathies.
My deepest sympathies to you James for your loss. So young …*sigh* . God Bless you for the challenges ahead of you ..Hugs for your precious little girls .
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss.
Good Lord, I’m so sorry.
Frankly, James, there’s a bit of helplessness going on here. That’s because of the understanding that there is nothing that any of us can do or say to take the pain that you are feeling away from you. Except, perhaps, to let you know that your loss is one that is shared, to at least some small degree, among every one of us here. Shared sorrows, after all, are lighter to bear.
You are in my thoughts today.
What an awful shock. May the heartfelt sympathies of friends be some comfort to you at this time.
What a beautiful smile she had. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Sorry to hear this, James.
So sad to read of your unexpected loss. Kim was so young! Thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time. May you draw some sense of comfort from them and your friends, real and virtual.
I always try to be ready for anything, but the one thing I can’t get my head around is what I would do if I lost my wife. I think I know how you are feeling right now. God bless you and your girls.
James, always appreciated your thoughts. You now have my mine. May she rest in peace. My deepest condolences to you and your beautiful family.
Words fail at a time like this. Know that you and your family are in my prayers as you face this loss.
http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu/archives/324123.php
James, I’m so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in our prayers.
Please accept my condolences on your loss. These sort of tragedies remind us of what really is important in our lives.
James, there are no words to express the deepest sympathy i feel for you, your daughters and the many who loved your wife… there is now reasonable explanation for her to part from us this young….and yet we know tomorrow is not promised.
Please know there are many you do not know that you have reached through your words online that will keep you and your daughters in thought and prayer… even during the darkest and loneliness you feel, please know you are not alone… prayers will be said to lift your head even in these terribly difficult times.
one of your cyberspace ‘friends’.
James, I am so terribly sorry for your loss, and that of your 2 beautiful daughters. These kinds of things just should not happen.
tom
James, you and your girls are in my thoughts. I am so terribly sorry.
Rachel
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.
I’m so sorry – this is one of the worst nightmares a husband and a father could face. There is nothing I can say to console you. I’m so sorry.
So sorry for your loss James. Hoping you and your family will find peace and strength in each other as you face this terrible time.
Deepest sympathy to you and your little girls. What a touching description of your wife.
Jim – I am so sorry for the loss of your wife.You and your girls are in all my thoughts and prayers.
Sorry for your loss.
Mr. Joiner – I am so sorry for your loss.
As a father of two young children, I’m heartbroken to hear this news. Can’t begin to imagine this loss for you.
RIP Kimberly
Sorry for your loss,
I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now. May God bless you and your children through this terrible time. We will pray for you all.
Over several years of following this blog, I certainly feel we’ve got to have known you James. I have tears in my eyes even though you’ve rarely mentioned your wife. I feel so bad for your children, having two young ones myself. Right now I don’t know what else to write.
James,
I am so sorry for your loss. May you be able to find consolation and strength in the gifts she gave you of your girls and may God grant you healing as time goes on.
Profound sympathies for your family’s heartbreaking loss.
I am so very sorry. God bless you and your children.
I’m sorry to hear this news, and extend my condolences.
James, Hold on tightly to that extended family my friend. It may not feel right today as your world is in chaos and grief. But it will be the anchor you need to weather the storm. I pray for you and your family to find peace and joy in the coming days and years. Make a special effort to create something that will communicate to your daughters about who their mother is they will appreciate it.
Remember, you are not immune to what is going on around you. Do not let yourself slide into the darkness with the black dog trailing your every move. Get out into the sunlight when the time feels right. Let it be my friend.
GOD bless James Joyner and all who surround him and love him in his time of need and grief. May GOD hold you all gently and restore your souls from this grievous wound. Know in your hearts that Kimberly is now in heaven with Almighty GOD and that she will be waiting to see you when the time is right. So Mote It Be.
Jim (one who has been there)
My sympathies to you and your daughters.
I lack the words to console you, but will pray that God lends you the strength to cope with such a shocking loss.
@Eric Florack:
I couldn’t have said it better Eric so I won’t even try.
James, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My wife is my best friend, and I have a lot of empathy for what you are going through.
A friend of mine, Mike Spehn (who was on Huckabee’s show last night), lost his wife in a similarly sudden manner. He co-wrote a book about it, The Color of Rain. After the rush and commotion that you will have to deal with in the coming days, I hope you can find some time to pick it up and read it.
It is so confusing when we have unexplained loss. Your wife will always be a part of you, and she will always be a part of your children. God be with you and your family in this difficult time.
What a tragedy. We send you profound sympathies, and wish you the strength you’ll need for yourself and your girls.
My sympathies to you and your family. May your wife rest in peace.
It’s been a while but I had to express my most sincere sympathy. God be with you in this difficult time.
Oh, James, my heart goes out to you and your children.
Words cannot express the sorrow you must be feeling. Sincere condolences. Remember her always and smile.
James, I don’t know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss. My sincere condolences to you and your girls. God bless you and your family.
James,
I’m usually just a lurker here but can’t remain silent in this case. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your girls as you grieve. I echo the comment made earlier — she had a wonderful smile.
Take care.
James, I’m so sorry for you and your little girls.
Hold tight to your friends and family. We’ve got you in our thoughts and prayers.
from your Twitterpal and blogfriend
I’m only an occasional commenter but a frequent reader and I feel like I’ve gotten to “know” James to some degree. That being said, reading this was like a punch in the gut. I cannot fathom the loss. Your grief is certainly shared, James, among many people you wouldn’t know from Adam. I’m so sorry.
You and your wife are about the same age as my wife and I. As I look across the quite room and watch her reading a book on this cold and windy morning, I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and sadness of suddenly losing her, like you did your precious Kim.
My heart aches for you and your families loss, James. You are in our thoughts, hearts, and prayers.
Incredibly sad.. I hope for the days when thinking of Kim brings you more joy than sadness. The girls will always know their mother, because your stories will lead them to her.
James:
I am stunned and saddened beyond words. Just the other day I complimented Kim on the great photo of you two and the girls that you have posted on the blog. Carol and I are so sorry for your loss. Kim was a great person to talk with, and a good friend. This is a loss for you and the girls that I could not bear to go through. Know that we are all thinking of her and praying for you.
So sorry for your loss.
Having also lost a spouse suddenly and having a young child at that time, I have an idea of what you must be feeling. I am so very sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Terribly sorry for your loss, James. Prayers going out for you and your family.
My sincere condolences. I pray God’s comfort for you and your girls at this terrible time.
May the source of peace send peace to all who moarn.
I am deeply saddened, James.
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
James, my condolences with you and family right now.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. May God comfort you and your family in your time of grief.
Dr. Joyner,
I am very sorry for your loss. You are your family are in my thoughts.
As a husband and father of 3 kids (3y, 2y, and 9mo), I simply cannot (and dare not) imagine what you must be facing. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. May God bless, console, and strengthen your family.
Number 6:24-26
Lord, as we mourn the sudden death of Kim, show us the immense power of Your goodness and strengthen our belief that she has entered into Your Presence.
AMEN.
James, I am heartbroken for your and your daughters’ loss. May God give you strength in the days ahead. God bless you…
James, my deepest condolences to you and your family. I’m so sorry to read this, and I’ll keep you and your daughters in my thoughts and prayers.
I am very sorry for your loss.
My sincerest condolences. You and your family are in our prayers.
James,
You and your daughters are in my thoughts and prayers. If I had words to make it better I would offer them up in a heartbeat. Just terrible news.
James, I can only offer you my deepest, deepest condolences.
Oh James… I am so, so sorry for you and your girls. Your wife seems like a lovely woman and I’m sure she loved you & your beautiful daughters with all her heart. Your whole family is in my prayers.
A terrible tragedy and loss; my condolences will join the chorus here. Leave the blog be for a while. Your partners here are talented and diligent; they will keep the shop open while you mourn.
I’m so sorry, James. Tell us if you and the girls need anything at all.
James,
That’s terrible news. So sorry for your loss. My family’s thoughts are with you.
James, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you and you will be in my thoughts. So horrible.
James, the best I can do is offer my condolences. I can’t imagine losing my fiancee, and especially can’t imagine losing her if we had children.
I will pray for you and your daughters.
Minor disagreements pale before the realities of life and death.
May you and yours be comforted in your time of need and loss.
I’m tearing up as I read what happened and everyone’s comments. What you must be going through. I lost both of my parents when I was 23, within four months of each other, but in both cases if was at least somewhat expected. To wake up and discover that your best beloved lying next to you has suddenly slipped out of the mortal realm….words fail me.
We’re all in shock, bewilderment, and outrage that the universe can do things like this. How can it possibly happen? It’s ridiculous! But at the same time, it DOES happen and we somehow have to recreate our lives from the shards that are left behind.
Music can help. Poetry helps. Work helps. Faith helps. Extended family and friends can help. And finally, the passage of time helps, though god knows how many years it takes before the psychic wound can heal to the point where you can believe one day that life is good and that you can smile again.
Rest in Peace, Kimberly.
My deepest sympathies.
I am so sorry to read about your wife’s passing. I will pray for her, for you, and for your daughters. One thought–do you have your wife’s voice on your home voice mail or on her cell phone? If so, you may want to save it so that your daughters can hear their Mom’s voice.
May God bless you and keep you and your family in the palm of his hand.
I don’t know what to say, James, and can’t begin to imagine the shock, pain, and sorrow you are feeling right now.
Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers… God bless Kim, you, and your girls.
James,
I am so sorry to hear of the death of your wife. I know that life is a grief stricken blur for you right now. Please take care of yourself too.
James,
You and your family have my deepest sympathy during this difficult time. I will pray that you and your family will navigate this enormous change with grace and strength. I hope that you allow yourself to lean on others who have loved and cared for Kim. Don’t bury your grief behind a wall of “be strong” for your girls. Allow others to help you and share your love for Kim and the girls. Share the love and laughter that made your partnership strong.
Teri
Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering,
because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The
greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband
or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs
to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the
joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger
than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.
– Henri J. M. Nouwen
Your photo says it all.
James, our prayers are with you in this time. Our sympathies for your sudden and tragic loss. Thank you for your work as you try to make this country an even better place!
I am more sorry for your loss than words can say.
I’m so sorry to hear this, James. My thoughts go out to you and your family. If there is anything I can do, please, please, don’t hesitate to ask.
Deepest condolences, James. Hold those little girls close. Small as they are, they’ll be your strength. As you’re surrounded by your family and close friends, know that the thoughts and prayers of the rest of us are surrounding you, too.
My deepest prayers and condolences.
Seven years ago my brother died early in the morning, leaving behind two little girls and a son he’d never hold. It wasn’t just a loss, it was an ambush.
It hardly seems real to lose a loved one so early in life. There were years of teacher conferences, skinned knees, and Christmas mornings left to share. How awful, James.
I’ve read this blog for years and often have found you very balanced and fair. Frequently I’ve come to this blog, either angry or enthusiastic at some recent political event, to find that your cautious pessimism effectively brought me back to earth. In that small, but consistent way, your blog has played a thoughtful and valuable role in my life.
It’s why I smiled when I read how she was the opposite from you. The photo you provided is wonderful. Your wife is smiling radiantly, effortlessly; she is so alive and present with her family, her sweet little girls. The love she gave them will always be in their heart, even if the source of that love is less clear to them. And the riches she gave to you, too, will find their way to them as well. You have a lifetime to give them that last, enduring gift. My deepest condolences, James.
Oh my word. You and your girls will be in my thoughts.
My deepest condolences, James. This is heartbreaking.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Condolences. You too have an extended family who cares.
James,
My deepest condolences to you and your family. Our thoughts are with you.
Jim Rinehart
So much love to you and your girls – I will keep you three in my thoughts.
So very sorry for your loss, James. Our thoughts & prayers are with you & the family. Always tell the girls how much their mom loved them.
So sorry this grief came your way.
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. I cannot form the words that most likely need to be said, and although you may not know who I am aside from a simple comment I need to comment.
I am adding you to my prayers and confess that the love you had for your wife is so touching and I am glad that the two of you connected and married, even if you only had such a small amount of time together.
Shocking news. All I can say is that crying helps a lot. Our prayers are with you and your little girls.
Words will hardly suffice.
Our family offers our condolences. Peace be with you in this most trying of times.
Our prayers go out to you and your family. Since we live in Herndon, VA and possibly nearby, please let us know if there is anything we can do to assist. I know we are pretty much strangers, but if there is anything just drop an email. Take care.
AJStrata & Family
I’m utterly shocked and saddened. You are living my nightmare. Our thoughts will be with you and your girls.
Words fail.
My heart breaks for your loss James.
James,
I cannot possibly contemplate what you are going through.
My wife and I offer our most sincere condolences to you and your family.
My deepest sympathies–I wish we could offer anything more.
I am so sorry for your loss. You and your sweet daughters are in my prayers–I pray that God will sustain and uplift you during this devastating time.
You have my profound condolences. As Eric Florack wrote, we feel helpless and hope there can be some sense for you of shared sorrow from us.
May God hold you and your beautiful girls in his loving arms, and give you grace for the days ahead.
My sincere sympathy.
James, I can’t imagine what you are going through. My wife died a month ago after a long illness and the forewarning had to have lessened the blow although I still feel broken. The grief does get a little bit easier to bear as time passes.
I found some solace in a poem from Henry Scott Holland; Death is Nothing at All. Please try and make the time to read it.
My brother-in-law died of sudden death at age 46. I cannot imagine more of a shock for any family. May God comfort you and your family.
Words fail me right now.
I just woke up, rolled out of bed, flipped on the laptop and saw the headline at HotAir.
Prayers, all I can offer. For You and Girls.
Hang on to Jesus man. He’ll see you through.
You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers. My deepest condolences on your loss.
There really are no words to offer.
May God wrap you in His loving embrace and comfort you during this time of profound loss and grief and walk with you as you move forward with your daughters.
I am so sorry for your loss. What a shock.
My condolences, I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry to hear of this, James. My deepest condolences for you and your family, and I wish God’s peace upon you and yours.
Sorry for your loss
James: we’re just heartbroken for you. If you need anything let me know.
I’m so sorry for you and your daughters loss.
James,
I’m so sorry. God bless you, Katie and Ellie.
Bill
James,
I was in church with my family when my cell told me I had a new email. I never check email while in church but I did this time. When I read the news of your wife’s sudden death, I said a prayer for you and your girls right there. I’m so sorry for your loss. May God bless you and keep you.
Kim Priestap
I am so very sorry. I lost my fiance suddenly about five years ago. The world will be a blur for awhile, but somehow you will get through this tragedy, somehow we do. You will see her every day in your daughters’ faces. I wish you strength over the coming days.
No words can express what a terrible experience you and the girls must be going through. My sincerest condolences on your loss. 🙁
James you were one of the first bloggers I ever read or exchanged emails with. I am at a loss for words other than to say my families thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.
James, I am so sorry to read about your wife’s death. Mere words are not comfort enough for you at this time. I pray that God’s supernatural peace and comfort be upon you and your girls and Kim’s family as you grieve and adjust to life without Kim.
My condolences to you and your family.
I hope you can draw a measure of comfort and strength from your many friends in the community you have created here.
James: You and your family are in my prayers. I was genuinely shocked to hear the news and I share your grief completely. Be well my friend.
James,
I’ve been a reader for a long time, but I’ve never commented until now.
My deepest condolences go to you and your daughters.
Lost my wife two years ago and still recovering from the loss. My heart goes out to you and I wish you God’s grace and hope you find peace.
Dr. J.J., shocking news.
I know that you will work hard to honor her life by giving to your daughters everything Kimberly brought to yours.
You CAN be an extrovert, sunny and joyful, and you CAN even find patience because Kim is always right beside you now.
You have a cheerleader who walks with the angels.
Holy shit, James. I’m out west & just saw this – I’m so terribly sorry. I truly wish there was something, anything, I could do to help you through this, but all I can say is that as much as you loved her, there are many people, here & elsewhere, that care just as deeply about you. You and your kids are in all our thoughts & I hope that helps you maintain your strength in this dark time. We’re here for you, man.
How terrible. I’m sorry. Much too young….
May God bless you & your family.
My wife Sandi has been fighting terminal amyloidosis for some years now and I once asked my mother-in-law which was worse, to lose somebody suddenly or quickly as you have; my mother-in-law noted that it’s much harder to lose somebody unexpectedly because the time my wife & I have been give, while so challenging, provides a way to understand + deal with things.
Thus, while I’m sure it provides little solace, I’m glad you had a chance to meet, love and create your family. While you will be on your own & the girls will desperately miss their mother, God has blessed you & them with the gift of life. Of course we will never know why God then likewise chose to burden you with the sorrows and challenges ahead I pray that with your mourning God will provide some peace & understanding that will help you through the challenges to come and that your daughters will grow in the however faint memory of their mom and the knowledge that they were so loved.
May God bless you & your family in the days and years to come.
Best regards,
Steven W
I lost my wife unexpectedly last spring, hearing this was like a blow to my heart.
My very deepest sympathies.
For me the task of putting together photos of her for the memorial was helpful. We had recently lost the old house in a fire, together with all the photo albums. Each photo I was able to track down from friends and family was like rescuing a piece of her.
I hope you have lots of pictures of her to cherish and save for your beautiful little girls.
4 hours after seeing this announcement, I still don’t know what to say, other than that I’m very sorry.
What terrible news. My condolences, James. May God go with you and with your two little girls.
my condolences on your loss, you and your family will be in my prayers. I lost my first wife suddenly also, two years ago, so I understand what you are going through, if you need someone to talk to you can contact me.
Prayers and Angel’s voices for you and your daughters, and for the loving memory of Kim.
(This piece was on the radio as I read your deeply moving and brave post, a consolation I pray…O Magnum Mysterium)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7ch7uottHU
Dear James,
I do not know if you will remember me but, in the early days of both our blogging lives, when I wrote a lot, of a political nature, on my first blog, Sneakeasy’s Joint, I was a fan of your work.
When I learned of your great loss, this morning, from Kit Lange, I had to come by, and express my deepest condolences to you for your loss, and to wish you, and your children, all the comfort friends, and family can provide, and the strength, and courage to continue onward.
Sincerely Yours,
Kiril The Mad Mad Macedonian
With Purrs, & Purrayers, from my Cats, Mr. Nikita, & Elvira Mistress of Felinity
Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat
http://www.opinionatedpussycat.com
What a beautiful tribute you wrote for your wife. May the Lord comfort your hearts and minds right now. I will be praying for all of you. I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh James I am so truly sorry. Words escape me also as I am sure everyone else. Your BlogTalkRadio Family has you and your family in our thoughts.
Best,
Amy Domestico
My wife joins me in sending our deepest condolences to you and your beautiful daughters.
James,
I’m sure I am no more stunned than anyone else is right now, but it’s still hard to find words to express my sense of disbelief. I am so sorry for your loss. And I hate that phrase because it’s so banal. I can only imagine what you are going through right now, and how devastating losing your beloved wife, friend, and life partner must be.
I would be one of those people coming to your home if I lived anywhere near D.C. I am just so sorry. My heart goes out to you, and to Katie and Ellie.
In the words of one of my favorite poets, I hope that flights of angels guide Kimberly Webb Joyner to her sleep, and may she rest in peace.
I hope you can accept a virtual hug from me — we don’t always see eye to eye on politics, but something like this transcends all other differences.
all my good wishes,
Kathy Kattenburg
So sorry to hear this. You, your wife, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
James, I’m shocked and so very sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences to you and your girls.
My sincerest condolences. She was much too young.
Really sorry to hear this. Condolences to you, and your daughters, James.
Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss, James.
I am so sorry to read this. Losing a loved one, particularly unexpectedly, is a terrible thing. I cannot add much to grumpy realist’s suggestions, except to add my voice to the many here mourning your loss, in the hope of speeding the day you reach a new normal.
Prayers go out to your family.
James,
So sorry for your loss – my thoughts and best wishes to you and your family. I hope all our sympathies can help to sustain you through the challenging days ahead.
My most sincere condolences, James. Please know that you and your girls are in my prayers. if there is anything I can do to help you in the days hereafter, please let me know. I’ll do whatever I am able.
Love those little girls and share your love story. Tell them over and over again how much she meant to you and how much she loved them. Sit with pictures and paint a story with words and they WILL know her. She will be more than a shadow…she’ll be real to them.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and he binds up their wounds. I will be praying that you will feel comfort as only our Savior can provide.
I don’t know you James, nor did I ever have the tremendously missed opportunity of meeting your wife Kimberly, but wanted to say thank you:
– For the 10s of thousands of petty arguments that you just ended
– for the thousands of phone calls being made to parents, family and loved ones
– for the hundreds of thousands of links and emails that are crashing this server now
– and for going beyond your own obvious grief for one moment to share with the world
I humbly express my gratitude to you sir and ask for God’s blessing – on you and your family – and my sincerest sympathies from MILLIONS of people whom you will never know…
—
No one, even those of us who have gone through the same tragedy can feel the pain and loss as you do. This is personal between two people who loved each other. Words ring hollow and don’t help as they are only words. Empathy washes up against a wall of pain and numbness, never reaching the heart and soul as intended. I promise nothing as I add my sympathy along with that from your legends of friends. The pain of her loss and memories of her beauty will be with you until the end of time. In time the pain will fade to a dull hurt in your heart and soul. Hopefully the memories of her inner and outer beauty will be the ones you keep to shine the brightest.
Remember His gift to you was the sharing of life with the one you loved and her love in return. The most precious gift one can give to another is their unselfish freely given love.
I pray her love is strong enough to sustain you until you are called home also. She left you two beautiful gifts which was a bond between you and her. Her love lives on in those gifts. We can never say “I love you” enough times before our time is done. Don’t wait to begin. It will help with what you are going through.
@Eric Florack: Indeed words seem so insufficient for something like this. I will be thinking positive thoughts of you today and I hope this post has lightened the pain at least a little.
Upvoted a post by Eric
Oh, James; my heart is in my throat.
Please let anyone and everyone help you and your girls however they can.
James,
Kim was my boss for about a year or so, and I was shocked and saddened to hear this news. I had to seek you out here online to let you know that you, Katie and Ellie will be in my thoughts and prayers continually.
Leslie Ann
Devastating news James. My deepest condolences.
James,
I am shocked and so sorry for your loss. God be with you & yours.
My heart aches for you and your beautiful girls. I can’t begin to imagine your grief. Stay strong for them, and have them kiss mommy’s picture goodnight before bed every night, You will be in my prayers.
James:
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts will be with you and your little girls over the next few days.
My heart aches for you and your beautiful girls. I can’t begin to imagine your grief. Stay strong for them, and have them kiss mommy’s picture goodnight before bed every night. You will be in my prayers.
James, this is absolutely heartbreaking to read. Please accept best wishes and condolences from myself and my family.
I’m so sorry, James. My condolences.
James, I am so sorry for your loss. I know we are just online neighbors, but if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know.
I don’t know you personally Jame’s, your just a guy with a blog who I have read since the beginning, but when I read this post I reacted as if we had know each other all our lives. I am sorry for your loss, and I realize that your life is about to change in some very dramatic ways . Stay strong for your children and I know I speak for everyone that we hope to see you back here someday.
I know from personal experience that nothing said will help you right now, other than knowing that others feel for your loss and wish only the best for you and yours which hopefully will give you a small amount of solace.
May Kimberly rest in peace and may you and your beautiful daughters find comfort in her love and her spirit which will guide you in your grief.
My heartfelt condolences go out to you, your children, your family and your friends.
Kimberly Webb Joyner- 1970-2011: Rest in peace.
My profoundest condolences. What an inconceivably sad loss. There are no words.
May God bless and keep you and the girls.
My sincere condolences for you and your family and those who knew and loved Kimberly.
There are no words adequate for such a sudden, tragic, and inexplicable loss.
My sympathies and condolences to you and your family, James.
.
My very, very deepest condolences, James. I can’t begin to imagine the pain that you’re going through at the moment, and I wish you every strength.
Oh dear!
My deepest condolences! Prayers for you and your girls!
James, I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
James, I am truly and deeply saddened to hear this. You and your children are in our prayers.
I’m honestly saddened by the pain you’re enduring now, and I’ve no doubt the other commentors here do as well, even though none of us have ever met.
This is a time when there are few words, but deep sorrow. Sorry for your loss.
I send prayers and condolences… And may God comfort you in your sorrow, and guide you through this difficult time…
I´m saddened by your loss, but I´d like to have your physical address to send a physical card. Is that possible?
My sympathies for your terrible loss.
James,
I am heartsick reading this, so very sorry for your loss. My family has you and your family in our prayers.
I especially want to thank you for your courage in sharing this news. I am not sure I could have pulled myself together as you have but for all the absurdity which occurs over the Thanksgiving Holiday you have given us all a reminder to give thanks every day for those around us which we can, from time to time, take for granted.
God Bless You.
Bob
The best words on grief I’ve ever read came from a graphic novel, Neil gaiman’s spectacular Sandman. The greek figure Orpheus has just lost his wife on their wedding day and his father Dream(Morpheus) gives him truth that while it seems cold is still truth and contains hope:
I can only imagine my own grief in your position and you have my sympathy, just don’t forget to live.
Please know that you and your girls have been in my thoughts constantly today. I won’t presume to know what to say beyond that.
As a fellow atheist I’ve found there are precious few secular books or guidance on how to handle the idea of death with children, but I have discovered a few as I’ve dealt with the issue with my daughter, now 5 but 3.5 at the time it first came up. Please feel free to email me if you’d like the references, now or in the future as you continue to work through this loss.
James,
Such shocking news. My thoughts are with you and your daughters. I’m so very sorry this happened.
The mind reels and words fail.
זיכרונה לברכה May her memory be a blessing.
James, my deepest, deepest sympathies. She will always be in your heart.
Thank you for your courage today and your bravery in the future. I’m holding you in the light.
My prayers and thoughts go out to you and your girls.
My condolences on your sudden lose. I have lost several good friends during the last year and while it is not like losing a loving spouse, the hurt is still there. Yes time will heal, but the memory of the good times will always be with you. May you find that door that will lead you to happiness again.
My most sincere condolences. I went through a similar situation, my wife was 46 and my children were a little older (first and third grades). That was 4-1/2 years ago. One thing I did to try to make it easier on the kids was rather than having people show up in at random re-opening the wound over the course of several days, we arranged a get-together and had everyone over at one time. I felt that it was part of our friends’ grieving process, too, and that they shouldn’t be deprived of their need to express their love, just that it probably wasn’t good for the kids to go through that drawn out over a period of several days. It worked out. It isn’t easy, single parenting resources are configured for single moms, not dads, but it’s doable. Another thing I tried to do was to keep their routine as consistent as possible under the circumstances. Kids are remarkably resilient. The one thing my kids were initially worried about was if I or they could “catch” whatever killed their mom so reassuring them that they were going to be OK was a major issue . Yours are probably too young to worry about that. In our case the cause was diabetic ketoacidosis. Completely unexpected and completely devastating.
All our love, support, and prayers go out to you.
That’s horrible. Condolences and best wishes.
You and your family are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine what you’re going through. But Tlaloc is right: don’t forget to live.
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. 🙁
James,
Words fail me at this moment. I’m praying for you and your kids.
— Bill
“PunditGuy”
I am so so sorry to hear this – will be praying for you and your girls.
May the peace that surpassed all understanding be with you & your little girls.
I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through…
May God grant you all the peace and strength you’ll need in times ahead…
My family will add yours to our prayers…
…and after reading this sad news, I think I’ll spend the rest of the day with my bride of 10 years, and try to keep in mind that few regret spending more time with the people they love and less in front of a computer monitor and keyboard…
Take great care, James.
I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
We have something in common, not something either of us wanted… three years and I still don’t have the words.
I know that “broken glass” feeling in your belly will be with you for a long time.
Oscar Wilde said the dead do not want our grief, they prefer our gratitude. (paraphrased). It will take time, but when the gratitude comes, it is a blessing.
Hugs…
Dear Mr. Joyner,
My father passed away (alas, in a drunk driving accident) just before my 4th birthday. I was 3 years 10 months old. I do have a strong memory of him, pulling a coin from behind my ear and essentially dazzling me with a simple magic trick. I would like to suggest something. Your younger daughter won’t remember anything, because of course she can’t talk yet, but the older one no doubt interacted with her mother a lot. Pick something she did with her daughter, and remind the daughter of it regularly–reading the daughter a bedtime story, going to the zoo, something like that. If you reinforce it now, she’ll remember, I think (or at least hope). Just keep bringing it up, mentioning mom to the daughter.
Weirdly, I kept this memory on my own. My mother essentially erased my father from our lives, I think because she was disgusted with what happened (thankfully he didn’t injure or kill anyone else) and also I think because she was a bit embarrassed and ashamed to have made such a poor choice for a husband. Your case is different, in that you have no reason to do this. Don’t dwell on her *too* much–it could get creepy. But I expect if you keep the discussion going, the older daughter at least will remember mommy…
Oh no. I remember when y’all got married. So very sad for you and your little girls.
James,
I cannot imagine the pain and grief that you are suffering, my thoughts are with you and your children. My deepest sympathies for your loss.
Jim
No matter what happens, the time you had with her can never be taken away from you. Praying for you and your lovely daughters.
I’m deeply saddened for your loss. Such devastating news leaves words hard to find, as no words can replace your loss in any degree. But words have the power to encourage and strengthen people in the toughest of moments when emotions overpower thoughts. I truly hope you continue to find encouragement all around you at this toughest of times. I wish you all the strength you need for the foreseeable future. The strength to grieve, the strength to live, and everything in between.
I’m so sorry to hear of your sudden loss. You and your beautiful girls are in my prayers.
I am sorry for your loss.
Terrible, terrible news. My sincerest condolences to you and yours.
Mr Joyner,
Today would have been my husband’s 57th birthday. He was also taken from me suddenly almost 10 years ago. Thankfully my two sons were of an age where the memories of their father were set and solid. There are no words that can express what you are feeling now, unless you have been there. Words are not appropriate to fill the void that is in your heart and soul now. But know that with each moment and each day passing it does get easier and the good memories fill the void that has been left.
Almost 10 years have passed and I still find myself sometimes standing still while memories wash over me. I have learned to use them to my advantage now and I find solace in them. Your precious wife will never truly be gone, she will live on in the stories that you will tell her daughters and the great memories that you will instill in them, for them to pass on to their children one day. God Bless you and your family and may the days ahead be as comforting as they can possibly be.
Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family, James.
James, at moments like this words fail all of us. My deepest, most heartfelt condolences go out to you. I only hope that the outpouring of support here gives you some solace.
My deepest condolences and my prayers for you and your girls and for Kimberley’s repose.
So sorry to read this! God bless you and the 2 little girls. May He give you the strength you will need to raise them.
Words are inadequate at a time like this. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
James, I’ve very sorry for the sudden loss to you and your little girls. So sad…
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that you and your girls will find some small comfort among the love of your family and friends to help you through this.
I’m so very sorry, James.
James, there are a whole lot of people out here who are caring about you right now, especially those who have also survived the sudden and untimely death of a loved one. A couple of really rough years probably lie ahead of you. I found some comfort in Joan Didion’s “The Year of Magical Thinking.” And this:
“Now there is one thing I can tell you: you will [eventually] enjoy certain pleasures you would not fathom now. […]
“When you are used to this horrible thing that [days past when you had her] will forever be cast into the past, then you will gently feel her revive, returning to take her place, her entire place, beside you. At the present time, this is not yet possible.
“Let yourself be inert, wait till the incomprehensible power … that has broken you restores you a little, I say a little, for henceforth you will always keep something broken about you. Tell yourself this, too, for it is a kind of pleasure to know that you will never love less, that you will never be consoled, that you will constantly remember more and more.” — Marcel Proust
Twenty years ago my wife died suddenly, leaving me with our seven-month-old daughter. Everyone wanted to help, but there was no way around the grief. You just have to go through it, and it can take a long time. My daughter was a great comfort. Just know that life will one day be sweet again.
Oh, James. I am so, so sorry.
I linked this at the news site, of course, once I had halfway-absorbed what had happened to you. This was such a stark reminder that we never know how much time we will have with those we love.
Please let us (meaning the online world) know if there’s anything whatsoever we can do that will help in any way whatsoever.
Dear James – shocked to hear of this devastating loss. I wish you and the girls all the strength to go forward.
I am deeply saddened to hear about the loss of your wife. I can’t even begin to comprehend what you must be going through right now. I don’t know what I could possibly say that could come close to offering anything in the way of comfort to you or your girls. But you and your family will most definitely be in my thoughts. I wish we lived in a universe where things so staggeringly unfair as this didn’t happen. My best to you and your girls, to your family and your wife’s. I’m so very, very sorry. Something like this shouldn’t happen to anyone.
Very sorry to hear of your loss.
James,
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your little girls in my prayers.
Haven’t been here in a while, not much to say except how deeply sorry I am.
I grieve with you and send your wife and yourself and your children my heartfelt prayers.
James… I have been trying to figure out what to say to you since receiving the terrible news of Kims passing. I am in shock. I was Kims copier repairman at POS…. I’ve known her and worked with her for almost ten years. She was very,very special to me. I know that you, Katie and Ellie were everything to her. She told me all the time what you all meant to her. I want you to know that all my thoughts and prayers are with your family during this very difficult time.
Dr. Joyner, I am so terribly sorry for your loss and you, your beautiful daughters and your extended family are in my prayers.
I am so very sorry for your loss. As someone who lost her own mother at a young age (I was 7), please don’t be afraid to continue to talk about Kimberly to your children and to tell them stories about your life together and what you know about her life when she was a child. Better yet, write them down — they will be treasured by your daughters for years to come.
James, I am so very sorry for your trouble. Please know I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
James, I am so sorry for your trouble. Please know you and your family will remain in my prayers.
Terribly, terribly sorry. What can anyone say?
My prayers and deepest sympathy are with you and your family. My goodness I cannot imagine life without my wife.
I am shocked to read this horrible unexpected tragic news, but i can’t imagine how shocked you must be right now. I am so sorry for you James.
Having lost my father as a kid I know my biggest regret is not knowing him as an adult person can know another person. My biggest treasures are the memories of him other people have shared with me, so I have some kind of image of him, who he was, how he was. I hope that extended family and the large group of friends can help your daughters understanding what kind of person their mother was.
There will be a time when you can celebrate the life you and Kim build, the memories of shared love and laughter. But the road to get there is rough. My thoughts are with you.
I’m very, very sorry to hear of your loss. I wish there were something I could say to make it hurt less. But my words, as many above have said, can’t help right now.
Take care of your daughters, they need you now–and you need them.
Remember the stories, and tell them often
I was shocked to hear about this unexpected tragedy. You must be devastated! My thoughts are with you all in this horrible time.
I am so terribly sorry to hear this awful news. I pray that you and your family can find peace and answers in whatever time you need.
My condolences to you and your family. I hope you take a measure of comfort knowing you and your daughters are in the thoughts of your many friends here.
Words fail. If I prayed, you’d be in my prayers. Actually, damn it, you’re making me want to pray, so you and yours will be. Take care.
My sincere condolences. I know how it is to lose a loved one. It is never easy no matter what the circumstances. Teach your daughters about their mother and encourage her extended family to tell them tales as they grow up. They will know her from that even though they won’t have her physically in their lives.
God bless you and all of your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. May the Source of Strength and Healing support you and your kids during this traumatic and painful time, and through the months ahead.
I am so sorry, James. This is incomprehensibly sad. As I watch my own three year old sing, it only makes it even harder to imagine. You and your girls are very much in my thoughts.
Dear James,
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife. May the good Lord wrap his loving arms around you and your precious children and provide you with strength, comfort and healing. You will all be in my prayers. May Kimberly rest in peace
I’m very sorry for your loss. My condolences
Mr. Joyner, I have gone through what you are now experiencing and I’m praying that God gives you the strength to get through what lies ahead and also grants you the ability to find comfort and relief from the anguish you are feeling. You are not alone…just remember that. My wife passed unexpectedly when we were both 35, leaving behind a 6 year old son. My son is now a junior in college. We got through it, and you and your family will find a way too.
I’m so sorry to hear about your profound and shocking loss right at the beginning of what is supposed to be a joyous season. Virtual hugs and real prayers going out for you and your girls. May God be a source of comfort to you and yours, and may your beloved Kimberly rest in peace.
James,
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that her love for you provide some solace in this tough time. My heart goes out to you and your little girls.
My condolences.
James, I’m so very sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved wife. You and those beautiful little girls are in my thoughts and prayers.
James, been following this thread all day. It has been locked up solid since I posted @ 55 or so. You are loved. Your daughters are loved. If I could be there for you… I know it does not begin to measure up to what you are going thru, but I will never forget the day my sister died, she was 42, I was 36. Neither of my sons really remember her…. but I will never forget her.
To Kimberly… a toast… to a smile that lit up the world. May it warm the hearts of her daughters in this world and the next.
James, following the Quaker tradition, I hold you, your children and family in the Light.
James, I am so very sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. You and those beautiful little girls will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Sorry for you and your families loss.
James,
So saddened to hear of this. Here via Andrew Sullivan. Sending along my condolences to you and your family.
Greg
Hang in there. I can’t imagine how you must feel, but take care of yourself and your little girls.
How awful. My heart is breaking for you. Know what you’re feeling. Still processing the sudden loss of my Dad a couple of months ago. Can only imagine how much worse it is to lose your life partner at such a young age. My thoughts are with you and your children.
There really are no words, James. Seek what comfort you can in family.
Sir, I cannot even imagine your grief and loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and for the happy repose of the soul of your wife.
How terribly sad. I’m sorry for your loss.
I am now 69, in my 65th year since my mother died unexpectedly. That’s why I get an ache in my stomach area when I read of a shocking loss of a young mother.
What happened to me is what I hope for you and your girls. A couple years later, after my father got past his depression and while we were living with his twin sister for a while, along came the woman who wanted to be his wife and become my mother more than anything.
I rang the church bell at their wedding and then sobbed when I realized that honeymoons were off limits to little guys. We adopted my younger brother, an orphan, and life has been good — full of love and joy and success (along with the usual stumbles along the way, of course), and I have 3 of my own, 3 grandchildren, and a great grandson as well. My father found his second loving life partner, and she was every bit my own mother through all of her life. I had wonderful aunts and uncles, from both moms’ families.
The hardest part for you is the place you are in right now, but my father got through it after while, and you will, too. My two mothers’ pictures are next to each other in our home and I love them both. My first Mom I got to know from the stories and her letters to my father (then in the Army) and her glowing smile radiates from her pictures and passes right into my heart. My second mom was a child’s dream come true.
Be strong for your kids, and most of all be GOOD to yourself. And know that many, many of us are pulling for you as we feel your pain and grief.
I am so sorry for your loss – I cannot even imagine. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Mr. Joyner,
Please accept my condolences.
My best wishes for you and your little girls.
Peace be with you.
James, as a widow, my heart goes out to you and your daughters and you have my deepest condolences on your loss.
Whenever I hear of someone in middle age dying in their sleep unexpectedly, I am concerned that obstructive sleep apnea could have been the cause, since that condition almost took my own life. I hope that others whose spouses complain they snore and/or have silences in their breathing longer than 10 seconds when they’re sleeping see a sleep specialist right away. The silences indicate the body is trying to breathe, but no air is reaching the lungs, while the snoring is often a partially collapsed airway and not enough air is getting through. There’s a point when the body isn’t getting enough air for so long that the oxygen/carbon dioxide ratios in the blood trigger the dying process and the brain stops sending the signals to breathe.
Don’t let anyone tell you there is such a thing as closure for your grief. The loss will always be one of the most painful of your life. What changes is that life pulls you onward and gradually that pain no longer fills your entire horizon.
Another thing that may be helpful to know is that you will actually suffer the shock of Kim’s loss hundreds or thousands of times, especially in the next several months, as you reflexively expect her to be there when you wake up, or have a problem you know she could solve, or when you see things in a store you know she would love, or when you are driving home from work and your heart lifts up at the prospect of seeing her soon — and then you remember.
One more secret of widowhood is how angry you may be that your wife left you. Every fiber of your being has been torn and the pain is overwhelming. The hurt produces both tears and fury. In a month or two, when things have settled down a bit, a bereavement counselor, or even a bereavement support group for widows/widowers, may be very helpful for you in expressing your emotions and making sense of your situation going forward so you can be the man and father you aspire to be.
Lifting prayers for you and your little girls–and all of your family. I am so sorry for this tragic loss and send my deepest sympathy.
“Sorry beyond words” seems a wholly inadequate thing to add, but it’s the best I can come up with.
Sincere best wishes to you and the girls.
As a father of two girls myself roughly the same age as yours. My deepest sympahties. I hope all this outpouring will make you feel better.
Sincere condolences to you and your family on your tragic loss. May grace and fortitude be granted you for the challenging times ahead of you as you care for your precious daughters.
Words fail me. Allow yourself to grieve as long as you feel necessary.
I’m so sorry. Words fail. You and your children and extended family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am moved beyond words, James. My sincere sympathies to you and your girls in this time of tragedy.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss and cannot begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. Kim sounds like she was an amazing person and amazing mom and I’m sure she will be missed by all who had the good fortune to have had her in her life.
May her memory be a blessing. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Dear James,
I am so sorry for you, your daughters, and your loved ones in this sudden loss.
I pray for you to find moments of peace, even between the tears.
May God strengthen you and your sweet daughters, and bring you all moments of joy again.
If friends or family offer help — and if you would benefit from it — then please take the offered help, not just now but in the years ahead, for your sake and that of your daughters.
May you find comfort and peace.
Dear James,
I am so sorry for you, your daughters, and your loved ones in this sudden loss.
I pray for you to find moments of peace, even between the tears.
May God strengthen you and your sweet daughters, and bring you all moments of joy again.
If friends or family offer help — and if you would benefit from it — then please take the offered help, not just now but in the years ahead, for your sake and that of your daughters.
May each of you find comfort and peace.
James, look after your family and yourself. You’re in our thoughts.
My condolences to you and your family, James.
I’m so sorry for your loss, James. My God watch over you and your daughters. You are all in my prayers.
absolutely heartbreaking. i wish you and your children all the strength in the world dealing with your loss.
Our deepest condolences to you and your family. We will add your family to our prayers.
Steve
James – I’m so sorry and sad for your tremendous loss. Words don’t really suffice.
You’ll be in my prayers.
Dr. Joyner,
I am shocked and saddened by your loss. While there really are no words, may God bless you and your children and may Kimberly rest in eternal peace.
Mark in Mexico
I am truly sorry for your loss sir.
We are so sorry to learn of the loss you and your precious daughters have suffered. Our family will be keeping your family in our prayers.
My sincere condolences to you and your family.
I’m so sorry to hear this.
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss and pray that you have the resources you will need to deal with this. You are in my thoughts and I wish you the nest as you deal with the coming days, months and years.
James, I am so sorry to hear this news. My prayers are with you and your little girls. If there is anything I can do to help or if you need anything, please let me know.
Heartfelt condolences on your loss…
So very sorry for your loss. Seek strength in your love of your girls… all three of them. And remember that your wife is still with you. She lives on in Katie and Ellie. May God bless you and the girls. And may Kimberly rest in everlasting peace.
May God bless you and your daughters …. and welcome Kimberly with open arms for the purpose that only He knows.
I’m so sorry for your loss… in the photograph, she looks like a joyful and intelligent spirit.
This is so cosmically sad. Heart felt condolences to James and the family.
James,
So sorry to learn of this news. You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers.
This is horrible! My deepest condolences to you, your little girls and your whole family.
As a mother, I cannot even imagine being missing from my own little girls’ lives, and in such a sudden manner. I’m sure she felt the same way.
I’ll pray for you all… and for my own family.
So terribly sorry. I went up and hugged my wife, just because of this reminder of how suddenly she, also, could be gone from my life.
James,
We don’t even know each other, but the big blogging diaspora feels like a family in certain ways, so my heart is breaking for you. There is nothing to be said, so I won’t try, but having experienced sudden, tragic loss, all I know is that the only thing we can do is be wherever we are, feel whatever we’re feeling at the time, and try to take comfort in the outpouring of love around us.
Much love to you and your girls.
So sorry to hear. Sincerest condolences to you and your girls, my thoughts are with you.
I am so very sorry to read this. Prayers being said now, so that you can do all you need to do to get through this tragic time.
May God be with you in these hard times
James, there are no words that mean anything, at this point. I wish you and your daughters the best. Even as just an old blog friend, this feels like a kick in the gut.
Grief is so complicated. There are stages but none of us have the stages written in our DNA so we bounce around and fall in out of stages that we thought we had passed. And no one in your circle will be in the same paragraph or even on the same page always. And they will say some inane things because the loss is so catastrophic that they are without real words but don’t realize it. Don’t forget to laugh at the first silly chance you get, it is very healing. Getting the giggles at funerals or memorials is famous because it really does happen but it still is therapeautic. Please do not make any life changing decisions without the help of people that have known you long enough to have the best interest of your girls and you in mind. May God give you strength.
I am very sorry. You have described an absolute heartache.
So terribly sorry. My heart goes out to you and your daughters and everyone who loved her.
My condolences. Be well.
Your family will be in our prayers, Sir.
My sincerest condolences on your loss.
K am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your children are in the thoughts of a great many people who love and care for you, and who wish beyond words that they had the power to give you some measure of comfort.
So very, very sorry for your loss. You and your girls are in my thoughts.
From the staff of ConservativeNewsCentral.com and the entire Anomalous Media staff, our heartfelt condolences.
We have created a graphic that you are more than welcome to use, which can be found here:
http://conservativenewscentral.com/2011/11/our-condolences-to-james-joyner-in-the-sudden-loss-of-his-wife-kimberly/
Our thoughts and prayers are with you, sir! May God bless you and keep you and your family!
James, I just learned of this and can’t tell you how heartsick I am for you and your precious daughters. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish there was more that I could do.
James, my thoughts, feelings, and prayers are with you.
I would like to add my comment here to all the others to let you know we all care in the hopes that it helps just a little bit.
Mr. Joyner,
I wish I knew better words, but everything that comes to mind is inadequate. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Chris Redifer
My condolences, James. I concur with others here in saying you’d be surprised how much a three-year-old can remember. I’m in my late ’40s, and still have vivid dreams of people I knew before my third birthday — even people I wasn’t especially close to. You can count on your wife’s memory shaping your oldest daughter’s life.
That’s shocking. I’m so sorry. Take time for yourself and your children to deal with this sudden loss.
James, may the Lord Jesus Christ comfort you and your family during this difficult time. May the Redeemer help you and your family to work through the grief you are experiencing and find supernatural grace in your time of need.
My deepest sympathy for your terrible loss. My prayers for your family.
Stunning news.
You have my heartfelt sympathy, James.
Somehow life goes on, even when we don’t want it to. I know. I lost my husband when he was 25 from a pulmonary embolism. It was sudden, like your dear Kim. Will be praying for you, your little girls, and your families.
You re an amazing man to find the strength to write on this day and share your thoughts and feelings. I could not imagine what state I would be in, were I in your shoes. I will pray for you and your family.
Condolences James, and good luck. I’m deeply sorry.
James, I’m so sorry for your loss. As a father and husband myself, I share your grief.
Please accept my most sincerest condolences, as I send my prayers to you Mr Joyner, and your Family, for your most tragic loss of your wife, and mother to your 2 children..
James, the news hit us very hard. Jennifer has lost her best friend and she’s devastated, but your loss is magnitudes worse. Our geographic separation greatly contributes to our sense of helplessness and disbelief. On Friday, Jennifer will leave Australia for DC to pay respects to your family, and your wife – the best freind she ever had. You must keep writing, James. The process of articulating your emotions will help you accept this new condition, and you will survive, as will your daughters and family. The grief, anger and fear will all become familiar terrain, but your writing will help you navigate the difficult path. Your feelings are personal, and your writing doesn’t have to be posted to have a healing effect.
I left work today to console my wife, and I cried on the way home. It’s the first time I’ve cried in
years. I thought about Kim laughing and our families at Saturday BBQs, I thought about you and your daughters, I thought about the night my father died leaving my sister and me alone with my mom. I remember those darks days, and I’m deeply sorry you’re there now. Remember brother, you’re not alone in this. People all over the world care about you and your family.
My deepest condolences on your loss. I am very sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. So sorry…
Sir, my deepest condolences to you. I am very sorry… I am praying for you and your daughters. Let God bless you in a very special way.
Mr. Joyner, I am very sorry for your loss. I hope you keep writing if it helps you during these times.
May the Light of the Lord be with you all, always. Just as she will be with you all, always.
My condolences for your Mr. Joyner. I have long enjoyed your website and your thoughtful and inquisitive writing. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. I wish you well through these difficult times.
James, your loss is staggering. Our most sincere condolences.
I was utterly devastated to read this. Words cannot express how sad I feel for you and your children. I am so sorry.
In my prayers. Grieve with you and for you, and the incredibly sad and difficult task of communicating this to your daughter.
My condolences, James. You and your girls are in my thoughts.
I am so saddened to hear of your wife Kimberly’s passing. May God bless and keep you and your family.
I’m so sorry, James. This is awful. A nightmare.
I am so sorry – my deepest condolances.
My deepest sympathies to you, James. You and your daughters will be in my thoughts.
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God will comfort and strengthen you, your family, and hers during this incredibly difficult time.
So sorry to hear this. Our best wishes to you all; as you know, all you can do is to do what you must, and with as much help as you can get from anywhere you can get it. One step at a time and don’t think about the route.
My family’s thoughts and prayers are with you.
Prayers and condolences seem so…..inadequate, but so necessary.
Many thoughts and prayers for you and your children. Nothing I can say can possibly lessen the pain you are feeling right now. God will be with you on your long and sorrowful journey.
Your wife was beautiful.
I believe she is in heaven and will be always watching you and your daughters and always wishing she could tell you each not to worry too much, something far grander awaits, so enjoy your lives here. She will be waiting patiently for reunions that, though a lifetime away to us, will be but a short time to her. Your daughters will know her in heaven and everything she did for them in this world and all the hopes and prayers she gave them from heaven.
Thank God your daughters have a good father. May God keep you well for them.
James, I am so sorry for your loss. It is painfully familiar to me, as my wife Becky died in 2004 at the age of 31 after far too few years together. Our daughter was about to turn 4. My Katie is now thriving in middle school, and your girls will thrive, too. I know only too well that words cannot bring comfort now. Just know that you and your girls are in our prayers.
James, I’m so sorry for your loss. Words are inadequate. Praying for you and your family, especially the girls. God be with you as you figure all of this out – I’m sure you will find the strength you need.
I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. I cannot imagine losing my spouse so suddenly. Mere words are not really enough at a time like this, and i hope you have friends and fmaily there to be with you when you need them.
So sorry for your loss, James.
Linked here from Andrew Sullivan’s blog where a large community of caring people is mourning your family’s loss. Keep writing – we will keep reading and supporting you from the ether as best we can. I’m so very sorry the world has lost Kimberly.
I’m so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your girls.
Once upon a time, I enjoyed Kim’s funny, sarcastic personality at happy hours with my friend Amy who worked with her at POS. As a mommy of two little ones, my heart breaks for Kim, for you, and for your girls. She will be your babies’ guardian angel for the rest of their lives. I can’t imagine the sadness you are enduring, and will keep you all in my prayers as Kim’s light continues to shine in your life in a new way!
Once upon a time in the late 90s/early 00s, I enjoyed Kim’s bright, witty, funny personality at happy hours with my friend Amy, who worked with Kim at POS. I’m so sad to hear of her sudden passing at such a wonderful time of her life. I’m keeping you all in my prayers as her light continues to shine on you and your family in a new way.
Please accept my most sincere condolences at this devastating loss to yourself and your famil..
Please accept my most sincere condolences at this devastating loss to yourself and your family..
My condolences, Mr. Joyner.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your little ones.
May the Lord keep Kimberly and comfort all who loved her.
Talk, cry, remember, rinse your face, repeat. A lot. I lost my partner of 19 yrs in Oct and our almost 17 yr old lost her adoptive mom. They seem to do better, but I don’t think so. Nothing fills the gap in our souls. Talk, cry, remember. Don’t be afraid of all three. My deepest sympathies.
I’m so sorry to hear about your wife. Please take care of yourself and your kids.
Please except my condolences for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughters.
I’m so dejected for the loss to you and your daughters, and so lifted up at the same time that she lives on in them and in your heart, that I don’t know how to feel. I know that you would be a kind and loving father, regardless, but you will cherish your girls even more for your wife’s reflection in them.
My heart aches for you and yours…my deepest condolences.
James: My deepest condolences to you and your daughters. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
James, my sincere condolences to you and your beautiful daughters. Like so many others who have written here, I know what a horrible task it is to accept the loss of a loved one and try to move on. I pray that God gives you the strength to endure.
James: My condolences to you and your family. My prayers are with you all…
I am so sorry for your loss.
Condolences
So sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you get some comfort from this out good wishes from all here.
I have never been good with words at moments like this. As a recent father I can’t even begin to (or perhaps rather – am too cowardly to even try) imagine your grief.
So I will just cite Andrew: “It is always impossible to say anything appropriate at such a brutal, sudden rending of the fabric of many lives. But our hearts go out to Jim and his family and friends.”
May the blessings of peace and happiness return to your home in time.
I heard about this from my brother, who worked with your wife. I so very sorry and I am praying for your strength during this time.
So so sorry for your loss. Words don’t really capture the depth of sorrow . I will keep you and your sweet daughters in my prayers. May God hold you close to His heart as you walk through this difficult time.
God bless and comfort you all.
James, I’m praying for you and your beautiful girls. May God bless you and comfort you.
James,
I am so sad to hear about this. I worked with Kim at POS in the ’90’s and she was a joy to work with. She had a wonderful sense of humor and a bubbly personality which made working in that stressful environment a little easier. She was a great friend to many who worked there over the years. I’ll have your family in my thoughts and prayers.
James, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless and keep you all.
Mr. Joyner,
Please accept my deepest sympathy. As an occasional OTB reader, I have come by off and on over many years. I remember well the posts about the time leading up to your wedding and the wedding itself. Even though I didn’t know you personally, it made for a happy time. I like to see people in love! Some people get their special partner for many years, others never get that special partner at all. It is my deepest wish that your 7 years from the time you met to the time you parted were a life time of love and laughter and that your children remind you daily of your wonderful life together.
Ron M.
James – my deepest condolences. It is heartachingly sad.
LL
Dear James,
It’s a shock to read of your loss. I can’t even imagine what you must be going through. From the number on this thread, though, there is so much support out there for you. May you receive some measure of comfort from that, as well as from your small children.
You have my heartfelt condolences…
I am so sorry. May she rest in peace.
Oh James, I am so very, very sorry to read this. I took a few days sabbatical from politics, and seeing this just makes my heart ache for you and your wee ones. As a long time reader of this site, the love you feel for your family is, and always has been quite evident. Mere words cannot express, aside from the usual cliches and platitudes. So I will just say again, I am so very sorry. I know you are an atheist, but you and your family will be in my prayers. May Peace and Comfort find you.
Trish
James,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
James, A high school friend of mine worked with your wife. She wrote a beautiful tribute to her, which lead me to this post. My thoughts and sympathy are with you and your family. You were touched and loved by someone special. Your girls will always carry that with them. Peace to you, Jana
James, I’m very sorry to hear of your wife’s passing. Hang in there and know there are a lot of us who love you (even though many of us have never actually met you) and wishing you and the girls well.
Words fail at times like this. Please know your wife and your families are in the hearts and prayers of many.
I lost my first husband to cancer (3 weeks after first having symptoms at age 30), so I am familiar with the shock and grief of an unexpected and sudden death.
I knew even in my grief, I was beyond my feeble resources and sought assistance from others. In turn, I became involved with groups that help people through the grieving process.
Remember it is NOT unmanly to seek assistance in the weeks and months to come.
Mr. Joyner my complete and total sympathy to you and your children in your loss…words are inadequate at such a time…but all of us express our thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Hoping that family, friends, loved ones, and strangers can provide some small measure of comfort in your time of deep and painful loss. My mother died before I turned two years old and there has always been a sense of a missing element in my life. I hope your daughters can work through the pain to become able to turn it into a deeper caring and sensitivity for each other as your family deals with terribly painful and untimely loss of your wife and their mother, Kimberly.
Keep the memory of her alive as someone who gave her love of family and friends freely and without limits, and strive to always try to rise to her level. Continuing the embody the best traits of who she was and her effects on others is ultimately the most fitting and meaningful tribute to her life.
My deepest sympathies and sincere love and support to you all.
I am so sorry for your loss.
James, my prayers go out to you and your family. Be strong for your children. 41 is too young.
What a tragic situation to face, James. I am a total stranger that only read about your story from your blog but it is so very touching to all of us who are in the same situation as you. Where would we be without our spouse? This is a lesson to the rest of us not to take for granted that which is given to us. To love our spouse even more thankfully. To love our children with more meaning. I hope you find peace in knowing your wife’s life also had meaning and that you will find it easy to carry on her legacy with your beautiful children. My family has yours in our thoughts.
Long time reader and lurker of your blog. My deepest condolences. Stay strong and God bless.
My prayers and deepest sympathy are with you and your family. My goodness I cannot imagine life without my wife.
James,
Although we do not know each other and I came by accident into this blog, but I sincerely want to convey that I am so sorry for Your loss, Me and my Family thoughts are with you and your cute little girls.
God will help you to deal with this all, and tomorrow things will get better for You and Your Cute Litle Girls.
Brace your Heart … be strong because God loves us
We pray for You and Childs
Ariko & Family
Jakarta – Indonesia
My deepest sympathy. Keeping you and your daughters in my thoughts and prayers.
James,
Words cannot convey my sadness. Take care of yourself and your children
Glen
James:
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Gob bless you.
Jeannette (Milford, CT)
James:
I’m so saddened to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you and your daughters, and to all the extended Webb-Joyner family. We had many great times together playing softball for Raising Arizona.My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I wish I could be there for the ceremony, but I will be out of town for work. Stay strong, my friend…
your Raising Arizona teammate and friend,
Martin Montorfano
Silver Spring, MD
My heart goes out to you. May God give you and your little ones the strength to get through this, especially in the difficult days ahead that we will all be going through. God Bless you–you’re children are so lovely. They are lucky to have you as their Dad.
Praying for you.
so, so sorry for your loss.
James,
I was a three year old when my mother died suddenly at the age of 28, some fifty years, three months and nine days ago. My baby sister was just nine months old. Your daughters may not have active memories of their mother, but trust me, they will carry her in their hearts for the rest of their lives.
You have been dealt a devastating blow, to be sure, and the burden of this loss will be heavy for quite some time to come. Give a gift to the friends and family who love you by letting them help share the load.
My condolances to you, and God bless….may you have the kindness and support of thousands who know you and have read you through the years.
Mr. Joyner;
I hope you read this, comment number 400+ notwithstanding.
I know exactly what you are feeling now. My wife died unexpectedly last November. I am still dealing with it now, just over a year later.
Just as in your case, my wife’s death was unexpected. Her name was Kim, as well… We had been married for 12 years.
This time last year I was still in shock… I wasn’t really feeling anything, I had the odd sensation that I was outside myself, operating my body by remote control. People asked me how I was doing, I told them that I was doing a good imitation of a guy who was OK.
I know that there is absolutely nothing I can say that will make you feel better in this time. All I can tell you is two things. A) that you will get through this (if only because you have to), much like a road march: by putting one foot in front of the other until you get to a rally point on the other end, the location of which remains unknown. B) you absolutely must talk to someone about this. The best solution I found was to talk to people who had lost their spouses, who really understood what it was like. It’s kind of like decompressing after deployment: only the guys who were there will really understand how you feel.
One last thing: if you haven’t already, read C.S. Lewis’ “A Grief Observed.” it was best thing I read on this topic.
Hang in there.
If this thing allows email backtrack, feel free to contact me if you want.
There is nothing I could say that will fill this void.
Dear James,
I’m so sorry – I can only imagine what you are going through. My the Lord guide you through this time and watch over you and your little ones.
Sincerely,
Rob Miller
*hugs*
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am usually a lurker (I have only posted a small number of times), but I have enjoyed your blog for years, and this news just reminds me again to embrace life every minute of every day.
Stunning news. My heart goes out to you and the girls, James.
Remember…so long as someone remembers us, we really do not die.