75 responses to “CAPTION CONTEST”

1. 

   Norbizness

   October 13, 2003 at 8:56 pm

   It worked once, why not again?

   “Worst. Slumber. Party. Ever.”
2. 

   Tom

   October 13, 2003 at 9:16 pm

   After 82 debates, and a hung convention, Dean and Kerry decide who will be the presidential nominee by seeing who can last the longest without going to the bathroom.
3. 

   Steven

   October 13, 2003 at 9:30 pm

   Kerry to Gephardt: “I thought rock beat everything! That Howie Dean always wins!”

   Dean: “Nope! Paper covers rock, you Washington insiders don’t know squat!” and then starts dancing and singing: “Go Howard! Go Howard! Go Howard!”
4. 

   Katewerk

   October 13, 2003 at 10:33 pm

   Mindful of the electoral success of a former body builder turned politician, Democratic Presidential hopefuls practice bicep curls and clean and jerk, in preparation for the 2004 “Air Mr. Universe” title.
5. 

   Stephen Green

   October 13, 2003 at 10:52 pm

   When chosing from potential suitors, Dick Gephardt always says, “I’m from Missouri. You’ve got to show me.”
6. 

   JW

   October 13, 2003 at 10:58 pm

   “Push ’em back, push ’em back, waaaaaay back! GO DEMS!”
7. 

   cecile

   October 13, 2003 at 11:08 pm

   Well at least I may have better muscles than them Republicans, but not bigger brains. (Laughs) But on the other hand, they may have bigger muscles and bigger brains!
8. 

   Eric Raymond

   October 13, 2003 at 11:13 pm

   “Must…increase…testoterone…levels…”
9. 

   Rich

   October 13, 2003 at 11:19 pm

   And now, for the Impressions portion of our show…

   Gebphart: &nbsp “Y’all must believe, that I have only lusted in my heart for the Oval Office…”

   Kerry: &nbsp “S’Ok?… S’Allright.

   Dean: &nbsp “I’m a Lumber Jack, and I’m OK!…”
10. 

    Tibor

    October 13, 2003 at 11:21 pm

    Dean — “Look at me! My pale blue shirt is darker than both of your pale blue shirts. By the way, did I mention that George Bush has me a bit peeved?”

    Kerry — “No way! My pale blue shirt is definitely darker than your pale blue shirt, Howie. And Dick, your pale blue shirt just looks darker when viewed against your stealth eyebrows. Look how dark the sleeve of this pale blue shirt is! Now when I was in Vietnam, the VC wore these pale blue pajamas . . .”

    Gephardt — “Are you both high? My pale blue shirt is way darker than both of your pale blue shirts! Your pale blue shirts are miserable failures compared to my pale blue shirt! I am the only candidate out here with a plan to provide pale blue shirts to union families . . .”
11. 

    Anonymous

    October 13, 2003 at 11:22 pm

    You can figure it out Kerry – Just rotate your fist.
12. 

    Ned Flanders

    October 13, 2003 at 11:39 pm

    “Three pretty maids from school are we! Filled to the brim with girlish glee!”
13. 

    whitefishms

    October 13, 2003 at 11:45 pm

    Kerry: “Dick, that’s the world’s smallest record player playing “My Heart Bleeds for you”

    Gep: “Waaaazzzzup!”

    Dean: “I can bench press all you guys!”
14. 

    Chris

    October 14, 2003 at 12:04 am

    His bluff called by an ecstatic Gephardt, John Kerry contemplates fisting an obviously aroused Howard Dean.
15. 

    Paul

    October 14, 2003 at 1:04 am

    Dick Gephardt looks on as Howard Dean celebrates after hiding John Kerry’s joystick.

    (look back at the pic)
16. 

    Linda

    October 14, 2003 at 1:05 am

    Kerry: How come Howard Dean gets to answer all the questions? I can’t get this damned buzzer to work!

    ~~~~or~~~~

    Gephardt: God, that Howard Dean is a kick!

    Kerry: Geppy, I thought you and me was friends!
17. 

    StarBanker

    October 14, 2003 at 1:19 am

    Gephardt: I need to work on the smile muscles.
    Kerry: Do I look like Ahnuld yet?
    Dean: If I get bigger tits, I’ll lock the trannie vote.
18. 

    pdxgeek

    October 14, 2003 at 2:14 am

    Gephardt: How do you plan to win John?

    Kerry: If anyone disagrees with me I take this fist and shove it up their ass.

    Dean: Um… Alrighty then! I’m just going for a little walk (mutter)far away from you freaks!
19. 

    SkinnyandBalding

    October 14, 2003 at 2:16 am

    “You are two wild and crazy guys!”
    “Wanna see my impression of Bob Dole?
    “Arnold’s success as a politician came after his success as a body builder, so here goes nothing”
20. 

    Alan

    October 14, 2003 at 3:52 am

    [offscreen voice:] Bachelor Number One, can you show the audience *your* Lou Ferrigno impression?
21. 

    Mark S.

    October 14, 2003 at 5:37 am

    CNN’s newest TV program: The New Three Stooges,
    with John Kerry as Moe, Dick Gephardt as Larry, and Howard Dean as Curly.
22. 

    FergalO

    October 14, 2003 at 8:55 am

    And your preferred method of launching a pre-emptive missile would be ?….
23. 

    FergalO

    October 14, 2003 at 8:55 am

    And your preferred method of launching a pre-emptive missile would be ?….
24. 

    rodney dill

    October 14, 2003 at 9:06 am

    Suddenly anticipating a much more difficult time campaigning in California with the ascension of Arnold, the “boys” brace themselves for the San Francisco bath house circuit.
25. 

    DavidE

    October 14, 2003 at 9:25 am

    In a truly revealing moment at the Democratic debate last Thursday, after being asked a question about National Security, Howard Dean – D VT, breaks into song to garner the Homosexual vote:

    Dean: “I feel pretty…
    “Oh so pretty…
    “I feel pretty and witty and gay….”

    While John Kerry – D MA, not to be outdone, challenges Dick Gephardt-D MO to a ‘Thumb War’ for ” …all the marbles…”

    And Mr Gephardt, in an astounding display of ADD/ADHD, was heard giggling with glee and muttering, “Hey John, did ya hear Howie? He said Gay, tee hee, tee hee. Ooh, ooh…and my name’s Dick, tee hee, tee hee…”
26. 

    mark

    October 14, 2003 at 9:35 am

    Richard Gephardt enjoys a laugh as John Kerry and Howard Dean demonstrate their masturbation techniques.
27. 

    TheYeti

    October 14, 2003 at 9:40 am

    What has two thumbs and loves BJ’s in the Oval Office?

    Dean: This Guy!
    Kerrey: Two thumbs?
    Gephardt: Teehee.
28. 

    Matt

    October 14, 2003 at 9:55 am

    Wait til you see MY Cabbage Patch!
29. 

    Texas T-Bone

    October 14, 2003 at 10:14 am

    Gephardt: I LOVE Rock ‘Em-Sock ‘Em Robots!
30. 

    Chortle

    October 14, 2003 at 10:31 am

    Aside from Al Sharpton …
    “The basic problems here.
    (1) Jocular, not a jock.
    (2) Got no game.
    (3) Can’t dance.”
31. 

    hln

    October 14, 2003 at 10:37 am

    Dean: “And I was THIS close to her neck, and I said “Rarr!” and she jumped, startled…

    Kerry: “Gusto!”

    Gephardt sneers: “Heh, what’s a she?”

    hln
32. 

    Warrior Princess

    October 14, 2003 at 11:18 am

    In the contest to see who can keep their hands off their privates the longest, we have a clear winner! As a reward, he may now touch himself.
33. 

    Rachel Edith

    October 14, 2003 at 11:29 am

    “My triplets advanced individually. Dickie laughs a lot and unfailingly writes excellent concession speeches. Johnny has always had great hair. Of course, I’d ask Howie to close the door when he’d sing along to his favorite song.”
34. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 14, 2003 at 12:12 pm

    No matter how many times they practiced, Dick would always break out laughing when it was his turn to chime in to “Row, row, row, your boat.”
35. 

    Chris

    October 14, 2003 at 12:20 pm

    Gephardt gets the last laugh when his plan to slip laxatives in leaders Kerry and Dean’s drink comes to an explosive conclusion.
36. 

    Martin Barr

    October 14, 2003 at 12:59 pm

    Gephardt: “Thinking of yourself as the ‘Terminator’ and being one are two different things”
37. 

    KGB

    October 14, 2003 at 1:10 pm

    Beat them Republicans? Why, soitenly!! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!!!
38. 

    Stephen

    October 14, 2003 at 1:51 pm

    On TV one night sat our three Dems,
    There to argue and show off their memes.
         Which one grinned like a cat?
         Which one girned as he sat?
    And which hand has the five M&Ms?
39. 

    AK

    October 14, 2003 at 2:34 pm

    Dick Gephardt, John Kerry, and Howard Dean break into an impromptu rendition of Journey’s “Separate Ways” during a VH1 news special.
40. 

    Chrees

    October 14, 2003 at 2:46 pm

    Caption:
    Dick Gephardt looks on in amusement as John Kerry explains how Tiger Woods stole his fist-pumping motion (“This is how I did it in ‘Nam”), and Howard Dean flaccidly attempts to “raise the roof” at the Democratic Presidential Debates held October 9th in Phoenix, AZ.
41. 

    Ev!

    October 14, 2003 at 3:43 pm

    Gephardt: “So, Howie, what are we wearing tomorrow?”

    Kerry: “Are you guys SURE Bob Dole holds the pencil in THIS hand?”
42. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 14, 2003 at 3:47 pm

    To celebrate the comprehensive diversity of the Democratic presidential front-runners, John Kerry wears a red tie.
43. 

    rodney dill

    October 14, 2003 at 3:55 pm

    DEAN: “The choice is higher taxes and a return to fiscal responsibility or, reckless tax cuts with detrimental fiscal ramifications!”
    KERRY: “The choice is higher taxes and a return to fiscal responsibility or … higher taxes and a return to fiscal responsibility or … There is no or“
    GEPHARDT: “The choice is me, or TweedleDee and TweedleDum here.
44. 

    BoiFromTroy

    October 14, 2003 at 4:29 pm

    DG: “Guys, I don’t think that’s what Arnold meant by ‘pumping up’ Sacramento!”
45. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 14, 2003 at 7:37 pm

    “A dick, a stick, and a hick”

    (Pronouncement from The Great Karnak, prior
    to viewing the OTB Caption Contest photo)
46. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 14, 2003 at 7:40 pm

    Kerry: “If I am the Democratic Party candidate I will crush George Bush’s balls like grapes, just like this.”
    Dean: “If I am the Democratic Party candidate I will pull George Bush’s balls apart, then crush them like grapes.”
    Gephardt: “Gee… I like grapes.”
47. 

    Hodink

    October 14, 2003 at 8:30 pm

    Gephardt says, “Dean, it’s rock, paper, scissors. Nice try, but two rocks simply don’t win!”
48. 

    Hermoine

    October 14, 2003 at 8:40 pm

    Kerry can’t watch as the Boston Red Sox … well, you know. Just another milestone in the Curse of the Bambino timeline.
49. 

    mojo

    October 15, 2003 at 2:03 am

    Kerry: “Hey, pull my thumb!”

    Gephardt: “Ha! Nice try. I been around, ya know…”

    Dean: BRAAAAAAAP!
    Boy howdy, no more mexican food and beer for me!
50. 

    Tara

    October 15, 2003 at 3:02 pm

    In a disastrous public flirtation with the 1980’s club move, The Running Man, presidential hopefuls today proved with near-scientific accuracy that white men can’t dance.
51. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 15, 2003 at 9:56 pm

    One of the gatherings that some Republicans, in retrospect, would refer to as “Munchkinland prior to the arrival of the Wicked Witch.” It was more commonly referred to as the Democratic Primaries before Hillary announced her candidacy.
52. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 15, 2003 at 9:57 pm

    One of the gatherings that some Republicans, in retrospect, would refer to as “Munchkinland prior to the arrival of the Wicked Witch.” It was more commonly referred to as the Democratic Primaries before Hillary announced her candidacy.
53. 

    Jan

    October 16, 2003 at 10:18 am

    Hans & Franz (Kerry & Dean): “We’re gonna pump YOU up.”
    Gephardt: Now THAT’s funny!
54. 

    F.Baube

    October 16, 2003 at 5:47 pm

    He’s ready, Dick. Don’t worry. I’ll find your gerbil.
55. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 16, 2003 at 7:06 pm

    John Kerry was utterly astonished as his fist started making sexually explicit comments about Howard “the duck” Dean. Dick Gephardt could only smile as he realized that all those hours of practicing ventriloquism were finally paying off.
56. 

    Rachel Edith

    October 17, 2003 at 12:52 am

    The hypnotist was exceptional. The first guy laughed just like a hyena. The second guy started to recite Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. And the third guy was dancing the Funky Chicken. Everybody loved it!
57. 

    yvonne in albuquerque

    October 17, 2003 at 1:26 am

    Play that funky music white boy…
58. 

    Dara McLoughlin

    October 19, 2003 at 11:50 pm

    Dean : “Yes John, opposable thumbs. Another advantage over the neo-cons!”
59. 

    Deanie Weenie #17462

    October 19, 2003 at 11:55 pm

    In the moments after the brawl at the recent debate, John Kerry experiments with the mysterious fist technology employed by Howard Dean to punch out Wesley Clark. Meanwhile, some Dick still has the chuckles from Al Sharpton’s earlier audience-mooning antics.
60. 

    Sean Hackbarth

    October 20, 2003 at 3:36 am

    Deaf, dumb, and stupid.
61. 

    Jack

    October 20, 2003 at 8:30 am

    None of the above.
62. 

    Tiger Russell

    October 20, 2003 at 9:24 am

    83% of Americans shown this picture could not identify any person pictured.
63. 

    Rodney Dill

    October 20, 2003 at 7:46 pm

    The DEM championship charade team, demonstrating:
    The Sum of All Fears!
64. 

    mansion-trailer

    October 24, 2003 at 5:31 pm

    5 seconds afterward…shaggy and scooby unmask the three so called politicians to reveal, yes, the three stooges! Stooges: and we would’ve gotten away with it to if it hadn’t been for you medeling kids. nok nok
65. 

    mansion-trailer

    October 24, 2003 at 5:34 pm

    5 seconds afterward…shaggy and scooby unmask the three so called politicians to reveal, yes, the three stooges! Stooges: and we would’ve gotten away with it to if it hadn’t been for you medeling kids. nok nok
66. 

    Rochelle siegel smith

    January 18, 2004 at 10:01 pm

    ” Doesn’t matter how you hold it as long as it’s whacked, with BIGuns it takes TWO fists!”