Outside the Beltway

Caption Contest Winners

Rodney Dill · Monday, August 22, 2005 · 4 comments

The Humpty Dump Flotilla Edition OTB Caption Contest^TM is now over.

Another excellent contest, requiring an extended honorable mention section.

(AP Photo/Peter Dejong)

The Winners

First: bullwinkle – Ted Turner one-ups ex-wife Jane’s vegetable oil powered bus by taking his anti-war rally to the high seas using a combination of wind power and former buyers of Jane’s workout tapes.

Second: The Man – Survivor: Greenland

Third: charles austin – Grendel was first alerted by the smell of artificial banana flavoring that was trailing the ship.

Honorable Mention:

Bithead – The Viking raiding party took a bit longer to get to New York than originally planned.

JACK ARMY – “Um, Captain, why is there a trail of popcicle sticks floating behind us?”

Gordo – John Kerry: Did I mention I was also a hero in the Viking wars?

charles austin – Call me Olafshmael.

Cowboy Blob РSo, Olaf, I ask Helga what she wants for her birthday and where to get it and she tells us to Sack Fifth Avenue. At least that̢۪s what I thought she said. That wench can nag! Got another Lutefiscicle? (This is probably a lot funnier to someone like me, where Lutefisk and Lefsa was a major part of the Christmas dinner for years. Рr. dill)

Are you ready for some Football Award

RUSS – Row, row, row your longboat,
Gently up the Zuider Zee,
Merrily, merrily merrily, merrily,
Life is but a series of raids, with the concomitant pillaging, rape, slaughter, burning and more rape, followed by centuries of historical analysis, culminating in the inevitable use of your likeness and reputation by a group of overpaid tight-pants-wearing pigskin tossers. Which seems more like a nightmare than an actual dream.

Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel

“Whaddya mean you used Elmer’s Glue?”

The new icecream boat traversed the New York Harbor all summer selling icecream to boaters and tourists on the shore. But two months of having to listen to “Turkey in the Straw” was enough and a US Naval destroyer was called in to blow them out of the water.

“Uff-Dah”

Bloomberg: “NYC heard your demands, but whattinthehell are lefsa and lutefisk?”

Randy Moss had missed the part of the contract where it was the Vikings responsibility to deliver him to Oakland and he subsequently missed the entire 2005 NFL season.

The Monday contest has already started.