Caption Contest Winners
The Pull My Tail Edition OTB Caption ContestTM is now over.
(Associated Press)
The Winners
First: Laurence Simon – “I don’t care if he sold us a BILLION barrels of oil a day. The man grabbed my hand and kissed me, dammit.”
Second: Jay Tea – “Plant that tree faster, dammit! I don’t know how much longer I can hold it!”
Third: Sgt Fluffy – I’ll tell ya he’s small, but damn! he craps like a horse!
Honorable Mention:
McGehee – “We’re gonna need more pooper scoopers. And Barney, no more eating all of Helen Thomas’ bran muffins. Bad dog!”
Jay Tea – “…and here is where we found Helen Thomas after Barney tried to bury her. It’s not his fault—she really does look and smell dead to a dog.”
Steven L. – “. . . and so we put it here, next to John Kerry’s presidential hopes.”
Best Monty Python Ripoff
Maniakes
“I just spend four hours burying the dog.”
“Four hours to bury a dog?!”
“Well, he wouldn’t keep still. He kept wriggling about, howling.”
“He’s not dead then.”
“Yes, but he’s not at all a well dog, and since I’m going to be away for a week I thought I better bury him just to be on the safe side.”
“Oh, yes. Don’t want to come home from a summit meeting to a dead dog.”
Rodney’s Bottom of The Barrel
“What’s wrong with you Secret Service guys, you don’t know how to use a shovel? you keep burying Barney, but he keeps digging his way back out.”“…and whenever I leave a big mess on his carpet, he rubs my nose in it.
“Hmmm, this reporter has been interviewing terrorists, I smell lamb shwarma on the mike.”
George: “Gentlemen, our energy crisis is over. It was Barney right there that discovered oil under the White House.”
The 
Thursday contest has already started.
I felt like mine was more of a bottom of the barrel, but I’ll take first. BOOYAH!
Wow, a new award category, just for me!
*blushes*
OK, I’ve discovered the secret formula to winning Rodney’s contests: use some form of the word “damn” in your entry.
That’s two codes I’ve broken. I parlayed Kevin Aylward’s weakness for fart jokes into a full-time position at Wizbang.
Now to go ruin someone else’s contests…
J.
Sorry Jay Tea, it doesn’t hold true. The previous contest only had damn in the second place, and the previous 3-4 contests don’t have it at all in the top three. Though I did have to check to make sure I hadn’t established some subconscious pattern.
I always thought that Kevin was a sucker for some the Lewinski and Washingtonienne type references, though “pull my finger” was usually good for runner-up as you should know. 😉
Rodney “E. B”. Dill