Outside the Beltway

Fun With Fiction Contest Winners

Leopold Stotch · Wednesday, February 2, 2005 · 6 comments

This contest was almost impossible to judge — there were more than 100 entries and most of them were good. So instead of the usual top 3 winners, here are the top 10:

1. Jay Tea
The Da Vinci Coed
A young college student shows up for a filming of “Girls Gone Wild†and finds herself in the middle of a centuries-old conspiracy that threatens the very existence of Christianity.

2. Lisa Y
Old Keller
A deaf, mute, blind girl gets rabies and has to be shot.

3. Ingress
A Male of Two Cities
Metrosexual with a devoted wife in a NYC loft and a ravishing drag queen sharing a LA beach bungalow.

4. Alan Kellogg
Stranger in a Strange Band
A mysterious newcomer joins a punkfolk ensemble.

5. Rodney Dill
Mount Dracula
The secret love life of Buffy the Vampire Player.

6. McTrip
Valley of the Dills
Rodney and family move to the country — and tell us all about it.

7. David Harris
As I Lay Drying
Faulkner̢۪s rambling tale of a poor, rural, Southern towel.

8. McGehee
Atlas Drugged
The world̢۪s first such scandal finds the ancient Titan tasked with holding up the world, in trouble after failing a test for steroids.

9. Tig
Lord of the Lies
Michael Moore̢۪s autobiography.

10. Stormy Dragon
At-Law Shrugged
Ayn Rand̢۪s lesser known novel where all of the world̢۪s attourneys go on strike. Unfortunately, their plan fails when, instead of falling apart, society enters a new Golden Age.

Honorable mentions (in no particular order) under the fold …

Kent
Moby-hick
An overweight boor tries to make himself the nemesis of a President with a crude and dishonest propaganda film.

Stormy Dragon
The Grades of Wrath
A family of left-wing college professors struggle to survive the Great Depression (that started when they realized Bush was going to be reelected).

reliapundit
A Loveable Feast
Recipes from a brothel in Paris.

dw
Black Sundae
A disgruntled Vietnam vet plots to get back at America by blowing up the Goodyear blimp over a Baskin-Robbins.

Christopher Cross
Farenheit 4/11
Michael Moore exposes the truth about directory assistance.

Kathy K
Go Yell It On the Mountain
The story of a young man fulfilling his life̢۪s dream of becoming a yodeler.

*and*

One Hundred Tears of Solitude
A young boy is banished to his room for a transgression and has a good cry.

T. Lung
The Great Gutsby
The pop-up book of Michael Moore.

jeff
Valley of the Dolts
Steamy tale of Wonkette, Washingtonienne, & Oliver Willis, 3 blogger babes who claw their way to the top, only to find they̢۪ve reached the bottom.

mitchieville
The Picture of Dorian Gay
Dorian walks into Basil Hallwards home, see̢۪s his picture, declares that it̢۪s fabulous. Then Dorian decorates the rest of the house and gives Basil a make over.

Thanks to all who participated.