For quite some time, “partner” has been used as a polite was to refer to someone with whom a homosexual was in a committed relationship. Gradually, it came to be used more frequently to refer to someone a heterosexual is in a relationship with, whether because it’s more age-appropriate than “boyfriend/girlfriend” or has more polite connotations than “lover” or “person with whom I’m shacked up.” Now, I’m also seeing it used in place of “husband/wife” for heterosexual couples.
This is an interesting evolution in the direction of gender neutral, politically correct language. “Partner” has no gender or legal implications. So, used in conversation with a casual acquaintance, it carries no information that can be used to form value judgments. The person referenced could be of the same or opposite sex. The union could be legally recognized (whether through marriage, civil union, or other arrangement) or not.
I wonder if, over time, this will become the preferred usage, with, say, “wife” becoming antiquated?
As a side note, “partner” is a somewhat peculiar word in this context, since it’s still more widely used in a business context. (There’s also it’s close cousin, “pardner,” which is mostly confined to old cowboy movies.) Until some sort of convention is established (for example, “business partner” being the accepted form for that relationship), there will be some awkward confusion.
Roundabout hat tip to Keith Humphreys. The link has an amusing but only tangentially related anecdote.









