OTB Caption Contest
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
Time for the Monday OTB Caption ContestTM
National Review Online
Winners will be announced after Friday PM.
National Review Online
FILED UNDER: Uncategorized, Contests, National Review
The NRA introduces its alternate to Elf on the Shelf, Monkey with a Gun.
After much argument and debate, the Texas School Board finally agrees on how the likeness of Daniel Boone should be represented in textbooks nationwide.
Sock puppet JKB and his NRA approved penile prosthesis.
“As soon as I get up, I’m walking to the cockpit and taking over this airplane!”
Planet Of The Apes was less frightening in stop motion photography.
Donald Trump is STILL trying to get even with President Obama.
Curious George 2: Retribution
Having lost one eye to running with a pencil, monkey was ready to give the “don’t play with guns” rule more consideration. Next year.
“Quentin Tarantino Presents: Toy Story” is rated R for language, intense violence, and sexuality.
This ain’t about bein’ cute any more. If cute was enough, Snuggles wouldn’t be dead. From here on, nobody crosses One-Eyed Chimp Fabric Softener.
Defying Chekhov, the monkey at no point ever bothered to shoot his sidekick Flounderin’ Phil.
Speciesist.
Before dispatching them Charlie laughed and said, “Never bring feces to a gun fight.”
“Fill your hands you son-of-a-chimp!”
God made man and monkey. Samuel Colt made them equal.
I know what you’re thinking, chimp. You’re thinking “did he fling six feces or only five?” Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a 3 cm toy replica of the most powerful handgun in the world that could blow you head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself a question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya, chimp?
…and Jane Goodall was never heard from again…
Mr. Giggles steeled himself for another pre-nap tea party.
When a stuffed toy monkey with a rifle meets a stuffed toy monkey with a pistol, the stuffed toy monkey with the pistol will be a dead stuffed toy monkey.
Somewhere, Lee Van Cleef sheds a tear.
“Where’s Cliff Clavin? He said he likes to spank the monkey.”
“That’s mighty bold talk for a one eyed stuffed monkey!”
“Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin.”
@He who must not be named: Perfect
@He who must not be named: I see you and I are mining the same movies. 🙂
Great minds think alike. ::)
I must be doing something wrong. This ‘dutch oven’ just isn’t working.
“Hey, hey I’m a monkee…People say I monkee around…”
“I hear that reboot of THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY isn’t very good…”
“Oh, things were fine with the monkey until he started throwing feces at the camera…”
‘
“I wonder what former Iranian President Ahmadinejad is up to now?”
“Gee, don’t you just hate gay porn where a sock money dresses like a cowboy…”
“Then that Jane Goodall sex tape took a terrible turn…”
FOR A FEW BANANAS MORE?
THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE SOCK MONKEY?
Chimp Eastwood?
“This sock monkey cowboy star was just fine until he brought that chair to that political convention for a speech, then things turned weird…”
“Don’t you just hate sock monkey cowboy country western music?”
Sock It To Me!
@Paul Hooson:
The Good, the Bad, The Stinky.
The legendary Mr. Bill’s gay son.
The only one who gets to keep his doctor & insurance plan under Obamacare.
If Joe Biden had a son . . . he’d have a shotgun instead of a six-gun.
“Thanks to TSA . . . I am retired, relieved & rejoicing.”
“Bartender, I’ll have a brass monkey, & a round of fuzzy navels for all my friends!”
“Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty TSA agent!”
Whitney Houston’s western-themed action figure hit the shelves today…………………………What? Too soon?
After losing an eye to Dennis Rodman, Klaus would no longer passively tolerate Dieter’s offers allowing his guests to touch his monkey.
@rodney dill: Yes indeed. You either start with a clean sock or else you’re looking at something less than kosher here….
You thieves won’t rustle this blanket as long as I draw breath!