Well, that’s the conclusion one reaches upon reading the following in the St. Petersburg Times: ‘Sagging pants’ bill passes House committee.
This Just in: All Serious Problems in Florida Have Been Solved!
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9 responses to “This Just in: All Serious Problems in Florida Have Been Solved!”
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JJ posted on story on this “subject” a couple of years ago about some mayor who wanted to criminalize sagging pants or some such nonsense. I thought the whole thing was out of Monty Python and wrote this:
Idle (Judge): What is the charge?
Cleese (QC): M’lud, the defendant was showing his knickers in public.
Idle: How say the defense?
Palin (the other one) of the Bailey: M’lud, my client’s knickers are none of the city’s business.
Idle: What does the defendant have to say for himself?
Gilliam (defendant, affecting an English accent): I paid 10 quid for me knickers.
Cleese: Objection. The price of defendant’s knickers is not at issue.
Idle (ignores Cleese): 10 quid? (stands up, drops trow) I paid 30 for these.
Palin: Crikey! You were taken M’lud. (stands up, drops trow, has same knickers as the judge.) I only paid 20.
Cleese: God’s truth! (drops trow, has same knickers) I paid 25 for these.
[All three look pointedly at Gilliam. He slowly rises and drops trow, has same knickers as the others.]
Idle: Counsel and QC will approach the bar. [Palin and Cleese shuffle up to the judge, pants around their ankles. Murmured conversation. They shuffle back to their places.]
Idle: Defendant is fined 45 pounds payable in cash to the court (Cleese and Palin nod in agreement) and is remanded to custody pending shopping trip to wherever he got his knickers for 10 pounds. Next case
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Herb’s right. They’re closing the barn drawers here. Err, doors.
Of course, the linked article is actually about a student dress code that would presumably limit the number of future style options. And it contains mind-numbingly stupid quotes like, “There was an article about an 11 year old girl who was gangraped in Texas by 18 young men because she was dressed like a 21-year-old prostitute.”
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I blame the parents:
These ideas are nightmares to white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing, it’s so scary in a house that allows
no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don’t care
He’s a problem child
And what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about
His fuckin’ dad walkin’ out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he’d probably knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he’s mad so he’s talkin’ back
Talkin’ black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap
His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose
His house is a broken home, there’s no control, he just let’s his emotions
go…
— Eminem
