Outside the Beltway

Yes, in Knoxville, TN, Church Avenue and State Street cross each other. The sign sits out in front of a Presbyterian church, just a block or two from the courthouse.
“The Corner of Church and State” by Wyoming_Jackrabbit is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Caption Contest

James Joyner
82

Comments

Time for another OTB Caption ContestTM:


Write your caption in the comments below.
AP photo via YahooNews

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82 responses to “Caption Contest”

  1. Boyd Avatar
    Boyd

    I. Did not. Eat. Cheeseburgers. At that. Restaurant. McDonalds.

  2. Michael Demmons Avatar
    Michael Demmons

    Nobody told me Kool-Aid is mostly sugar!!!!!!

  3. Bithead Avatar
    Bithead

    Mr Gore, who failed as a politician, is attempting a second carreer… He’s trying to make in in the field of acting. Here, Mr. Gore is trying out for the part of Atticus Finch, from “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

    Mr Gore has put on 40 lbs to play the role, but has somehow neglected that Atticus Finch wore glasses.

  4. wheelz Avatar
    wheelz

    I BETRAYED THIS COUNTRY!!!!!!!!!

  5. Clinton Avatar
    Clinton

    “You know, I invented McDonald’s Cheeseburgers.”

  6. McGehee Avatar
    McGehee

    1. “Hey you! Waiter! Get that platter of donuts over here pronto!”

    2. “I’ve put my credibility in a lockbox.”

    3. An exclusive still from the still-in-production movie “Moonbat”, with Stephen Root in the role of Al Gore.

  7. Rob B. Avatar
    Rob B.

    “Go ahead. Pull my finger.”

  8. Eric Akawie Avatar
    Eric Akawie

    “I’m not going to pay a lot for that muffler!”

  9. Matt Avatar
    Matt

    Hey, where are you guys going with your television cameras I’m not done yet!

  10. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    In the end Kirstie Alley gave up on the weight problem, became a man, and had a fairly successful career on the comedy circuit as an Al Gore impersonator.

  11. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    It’s the donuts, stupid.

  12. LJD Avatar
    LJD

    I’m drunk, pissed off, and I have a gun!

  13. Martin Avatar
    Martin

    Forget “Earth in the balance”, I’m having trouble balancing myself.

  14. B. Minich, PI Avatar
    B. Minich, PI

    Al Gore’s demon possession has not worked out as well as he had hoped . . .

  15. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    Political Outkast 2004
    I know you’d like to think your shit don’t stank
    But lean a little bit closer, see
    Roses really smell like POO-POO-OO
    Yeah, roses really smell like POO-POO-OO

  16. sligobob Avatar
    sligobob

    With his last ounce of integrity balanced precipitously on the tip of his finger, Al Gore launches a hefty attack on President Bush and his bald faced lies.

  17. Michael Demmons Avatar
    Michael Demmons

    Eric Akawie:

    Funnier if you’d said:

    “I’m not gonna pay a lot for that MUFFIN”

    🙂

  18. Mark Avatar
    Mark

    Beuller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Midgard Avatar
    Midgard

    Mr. Gore: Therefore, if a Republican weighs more that a duck, he must be …. ?

    Crowd: (hesitation) A witch!! Burn him!!

  20. David C Avatar
    David C

    “And if I live long enough to claim it, I will NOT let evil Republicans steal my Social Security check!”

    (Lame caption, but, yikes, doesn’t Gore look old in this picture? Looks like a three-way “composite morph” of Al Gore, Ted Kennedy, and Robert Byrd or something.

  21. norbizness Avatar
    norbizness

    If you fucking beat this prick long enough, he’ll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don’t necessarily make it fucking so!

    (http://espn.go.com/i/media/pg2/2003/1016/photo/chrispenn_m.jpg)

  22. ben Avatar
    ben

    “I invented nervous breakdowns”!!!

  23. Miller's Crossing Avatar
    Miller’s Crossing

    “Harvey Fierstein, Disgusted with Bush, Threatens to Get Medieval on All Our Asses.”

  24. Pile On® Avatar
    Pile On®

    Al Gore delivers another vicious diatribe against George Bush, fulfilling his role as elder hatesman of the Democrat party.

  25. elgato Avatar
    elgato

    Al Gore was declared a Category Five Blowhard this morning…

  26. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Question: If a washed-up political has-been screams incoherently at a fund-raiser, does anyone else hear him?

    Quote: “BEEFCAKE! BEEEEEFFCAAAAAAAKE!”

  27. Joe Avatar
    Joe

    SLOTH LUV CHUNK!

  28. Robert Avatar
    Robert

    “George Bush stole my donuts! And I am very angry!”

  29. Frank Martin Avatar
    Frank Martin

    Al Gore takes the role of Dr. Emiliano Lizardo in the new tony award winning ‘BUCKAROO BANZAI- THE MUSICAL !” to a whole new level.

    AL: “Character is-a what-a you are inna da dark, cursed is your soul and-a damned is-a your life…”

    AL: “Where are we going”

    Lectroid chorus: “PLANET 10!!”

    AL: “When are we going?”

    Lectroid chorus:”REAL SOON!”

  30. Bill in CO Avatar
    Bill in CO

    Barkeep! Another round! An’ keep ’em comin’, we’re jush gettin’ shtarted!

  31. Dobie Avatar
    Dobie

    I’m gonna open up a 55-gallon drum of whoop-ass and pour it on your head!

  32. jruben Avatar
    jruben

    If only I got 800 more votes in Florida I would not be this over weight, jobless, washed-up bore that you see before you today. Better yet, you wouldn’t even know John Kerry exists. The way it is…I suffer…you suffer. Let’s have a recount.

  33. JOHNNIE DONTOS Avatar
    JOHNNIE DONTOS

    VICTIM OF A FAILED ABORTION.

  34. m Avatar
    m

    “Remember the wisdom of Solomon in the book of Proverbs. ‘He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind!’” –Matthew Harrison Brady

  35. Pile On® Avatar
    Pile On®

    After four years without proper supervision and medication the Naomi Wolfe alpha-male reprogramming hits critical mass.

  36. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    Seig Heil!

  37. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    Seig Heil!

  38. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    Who stole the strawberries?

  39. Laurence Simon Avatar
    Laurence Simon

    I demand a recount of Bill Clinton’s bypasses. Let no bypass be left uncounted.

  40. Redman Avatar
    Redman

    Tipper! TIPPER!!

    Don’t you walk away when I’m talking to you!

  41. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    Now there’s no need for that I know exactly what hell tell you. Lies! He was no different than any officer in the wardroom — they were all disloyal, I tried to run the ship properly by the book but they fought me at every turn. If the crew wanted to walk around with their shirttails hanging out that’s all right let them take the tow line. Defective equipment no more no less, but they encouraged the crew to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about steaming and circles. And then old yellow stain. I was to blame for Lt. Merrick’s incompetence and poor seamanship. Lt. Merrick was the perfect officer but not Captain Queeg.
    Ah, but the strawberries! That’s where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist! And I’d have produced that key if they hadn’t pulled Caine out of action! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officer and!

  42. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    The Madness of Captain Queeg

  43. Mike M Avatar
    Mike M

    “Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim! The sea and all its spoils bow to my power!” -Ursula Gore, the Sea Witch

  44. BAM Avatar
    BAM

    “(the screeching sound from Invasion of the body Snatchers)”

  45. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    Oh. My. God. Is that really Al Gore???

  46. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    I’m a stuffed pig.

  47. swampfox Avatar
    swampfox

    Professor Irwin Corey on steroids

  48. B. Minich, PI Avatar
    B. Minich, PI

    Who are you, and what have you done with Al Gore?

    (Seriously – I can’t get over how much worse Gore looks now.)

  49. Matt Navarre Avatar
    Matt Navarre

    KHAAAN!

  50. TJ Avatar
    TJ

    “TO THE MOON, TIPPER!!!!!”

    http://www.basictrainingblog.com/weblog.html

  51. Stephen W. Stanton Avatar
    Stephen W. Stanton

    “He misled us into Iraq. He misled us into a lousy economy. He misled us into this damned low-carb craze that doesn’t work for shit.”

  52. Pete Samwel Avatar
    Pete Samwel

    In an apparent alteration in campaign tactics, the DNC brought in the notorious toothless man from ‘Deliverance’ to launch the latest series of canine attacks on President Bush: “He’s got a real pretty mouth on him, don’t he?”

  53. Simon Avatar
    Simon

    “Does my face look fat in this?”

  54. Beldar Avatar
    Beldar

    I don’t want to hear about Bill Clinton’s bypass surgery! I said a Double Whopper with Cheese, and I meant a Double Whopper with Cheese!

  55. savoryjohnson Avatar
    savoryjohnson

    Having behind us the producing masses of this nation and the world, supported by the commercial interests, the laboring interests, and the toilers everywhere, we will answer their demand for a gold standard by saying to them: You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns, you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold.

  56. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “You can make fun of me all you want, I invented the OTB Caption Contest.”

  57. Bugz Avatar
    Bugz

    Good Gawd! What HAS he been eating?

    Oh, yeah. Caption contest. How about…

    BRAAAAAIIIINNNSS!!!!

    I always think ‘zombie’ whenever I see Big Al.

  58. F. Haynes Avatar
    F. Haynes

    Which one of you threw that ugly stick at me????

  59. Bill in CO Avatar
    Bill in CO

    “This town needs an enema!”

    – The Joker

  60. Dodd Avatar
    Dodd

    “Ask not what your country can do for you,
    Ask where I can get a doughnut.”

  61. Dan D Avatar
    Dan D

    I invented the typwriter and I can tell you for a fact… those memos were not forged.

  62. La Femme Crickita Avatar
    La Femme Crickita

    Al Gore bidding on one of Rush Limbaugh’s old
    suits.

    Al Gore auditioning for “Phantom of the Opera”

    Al Gore singing “Impossible Dream” to a bunch of
    Kerry supporters.

  63. La Femme Crickita Avatar
    La Femme Crickita

    It was ME! I gave those memos to Dan Rather
    and HE WANTS the glory! Well, I invented forged documents to give to news anchors.

  64. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    Now look at them yo-yo’s that’s the way you do it
    You play Politician on MS-N-B-C
    That ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
    Money for nothin’ and Chad’s for free
    Now that ain’t workin’ that’s the way you do it
    Lemme tell ya them guys ain’t dumb
    Maybe get a blister on your little finger
    Maybe get a blister on your thumb
    Not such dire straits for Al Gore.

  65. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “You’re not just lookin’ at some drunk, washed up, low life. You’re lookin’ at the next Ted Kennedy.”

  66. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “I’m Damn tired of all the lie slingin’ goin’ on, but I’ll tell you one thing, when it comes to lies, it ain’t over ’til the Fat man slings.”

  67. Elizabeth Southern Avatar
    Elizabeth Southern

    “There is no controlling eating authority.”

  68. Elizabeth Southern Avatar
    Elizabeth Southern

    Al Gorged

  69. Sabina Gasper Avatar
    Sabina Gasper

    I did NOT gain 50 pounds. It’s only 48.5!!!!!!

  70. Hermoine Avatar
    Hermoine

    “I am so fat that NASA orbits satellites around me monitored on the Internet I invented.”

  71. La Femme Crickita Avatar
    La Femme Crickita

    Rodney Dangerfield look alike. No respect either.

  72. Thom Avatar
    Thom

    “I will have George Bush frozen in carbonite, just like Han Solo over there!”

  73. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “Yes, Dammit, I invented the Times New Roman font.”

  74. Rachel Edith Avatar
    Rachel Edith

    “For better or worse, I say to you, I invented Rodney Dill!”

  75. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “dubya…dubya…dubya…that’s all Folks.”

    (Thanks for the laugh Rachel Edith)

  76. marymcl Avatar
    marymcl

    It’s ours, it is, precious, and we wants it!!

  77. Hodink Avatar
    Hodink

    “Yes, there were times.
    I’m sure you knew.
    When I bit off.
    More than I could chew.
    And I did it myyyyyyyy way.”

  78. Rodney Dill Avatar
    Rodney Dill

    “Today I’m only giving out Chocolates and Ass-kickings, and I already ate all the Chocolates, so …”

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