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It’s the “Tall Whites”!

Dave Schuler
13

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FARS, the Iranian national news agency, is reporting that U. S. foreign policy is dominated by the aliens known as “Tall Whites”:

TEHRAN (FNA)- Former National Security Agency (NSA) contractor Edward Snowden revealed documents providing incontrovertible proof that an alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda is driving US domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945, some media reports said.

A stunning Federal Security Services (FSB) report on the nearly two million highly classified top-secret documents obtained from the United States Department of Defense (DOD) run National Security Agency-Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) by the American ex-patriot Edward Snowden states that this information is providing “incontrovertible proof” that an “alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda” is driving US domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945, Whatdoesitmean.com reported.

IMO the news here is not that U. S. foreign policy is dominated by aliens (fill in your own wisecrack here) but that the Iranian national news service is reporting it.

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13 responses to “It’s the “Tall Whites”!”

  1. al-Ameda Avatar
    al-Ameda

    Well, Persians are believed to be descended from Aryans, right?

  2. grumpy realist Avatar
    grumpy realist

    Remember when we discovered that the Taliban were putting together technology reports using pieces from the Journal of Irreproducible Results?

    Considering the rich cultural history in Persia and the immense effect the Islamic countries used to have on the sciences, the only question that comes to mind is: WHAT HAPPENED?!

  3. JWH Avatar
    JWH

    Are you sure FARS isn’t Persian for “The Onion?”

  4. michael reynolds Avatar
    michael reynolds

    Have you seen John Kerry? Are you 100% sure he’s not an alien?

  5. JWH Avatar
    JWH

    @michael reynolds: I would have twigged Dennis Rodman.

  6. Tillman Avatar
    Tillman

    “Tall Whites,” you say. Persian racists…

  7. JohnMcC Avatar
    JohnMcC

    @michael reynolds: Doggonnit, I was going to say that!

  8. Pinky Avatar
    Pinky

    @grumpy realist: What happened? Partly, this:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occasionalism

    According to occasionalism, since God is all-powerful, it’s a blasphemy to say that one thing causes another, because God causes everything. It just happens that God chooses to make us wet the moment after he chooses for it to rain. Rain doesn’t cause wetness. In this philosophy, science is therefore false. This is very different from the Western understanding of the natural and the supernatural, which doesn’t see a contradiction between the two.

  9. David in KC Avatar
    David in KC

    @JWH: Rodman? Not much of a disguise.

  10. rodney dill Avatar
    rodney dill

    If you like your aliens you can keep your aliens.

  11. Stonetools Avatar
    Stonetools

    Clearly the tall whites have displaced the greys as the alien controllers of the human race. I’m hoping they are not into the probes the way the greys were.

  12. grumpy realist Avatar
    grumpy realist

    @Pinky: Then it must have taken over, because DAMN there is no way a bunch of people running around the desert with that sort of mindset would have invented the astrolabe, primitive batteries, algebra, chemistry, etc.

  13. dazedandconfused Avatar
    dazedandconfused

    I think the information is that their reactionary nutcases have as about as much suck within their media as ours do in our media. If Obama and Rohani beat these bastards, it will be a major accomplishment.

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