Outside the Beltway

Pat Robertson: I ‘Misinterpreted’ What God Told Me About The Election

Doug Mataconis
27

Comments

Pat Robertson says that he got his signals crossed when he thought God had told him Mitt Romney would win the election:

Maybe he was just messing with you for giggles, Pat.

Categories

, ,

Tags

,

27 responses to “Pat Robertson: I ‘Misinterpreted’ What God Told Me About The Election”

  1. gVOR08 Avatar
    gVOR08

    Pat–that voice in your head may not be God.

  2. Rafer Janders Avatar
    Rafer Janders

    We’ve traced the voice, Pat, and it’s coming from inside your head! Get out of your head, Pat, THE VOICE IS COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HEAD!!!!

  3. legion Avatar
    legion

    Your mistake was in thinking that God would give a cold pile of rat crap about the US election in the first place…

  4. NBH Avatar
    NBH

    Perhaps Pat should consult his beloved Bible on what the punishment was for falsely speaking for God.

    Deuteronomy 18:20: “But a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded him to say, or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods, must be put to death.”

  5. Geek, Esq. Avatar
    Geek, Esq.

    Is this the same God who told him that 9/11 was punishment for homosexuals and abortionists?

  6. Argon Avatar
    Argon

    The imaginary voices you hear inside your head are you. When imaginary voices seem like they’re coming from outside your head it’s schizophrenia.

    I wonder where Pat thought he heard the voice?

  7. gVOR08 Avatar
    gVOR08

    @Geek, Esq.: The same voice.

  8. Janis Gore Avatar
    Janis Gore

    What she actually said was “Keep your hands to yourself, you old toad.”

  9. Janis Gore Avatar
    Janis Gore

    “The frog-prince was a fairy tale, you old fart.”

  10. Rafer Janders Avatar
    Rafer Janders

    @Argon:

    The imaginary voices you hear inside your head are you.

    Those voices are ME?

    Wow. I’ve….got a problem.

  11. CSK Avatar
    CSK

    @Geek, Esq.:

    That was actually Jerry Falwell, who told the 700 Club that pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, and lesbians (in that order) caused 9/11 to happen.

  12. gVOR08 Avatar
    gVOR08

    @CSK: I would have thought abortionists would outrank pagans; and gays and lesbians have to be way more evil than feminists. I guess I don’t understand the natural order of things as well as Pat does. If it’s schitzophrenia, would proper grammar be “as the Pats do”?

  13. Anderson Avatar
    Anderson

    God told Pat that the un-Christian cultist would lose. Pat just forgot that meant “Mormon.”

  14. OzarkHillbilly Avatar
    OzarkHillbilly

    @Argon:

    I wonder where Pat thought he heard the voice?

    It was coming out of his ass. Really, his farts speak in tongues.

  15. CSK Avatar
    CSK

    @gVOR08:

    Well, if you analyze the statement according to what I’m assuming are Falwell’s beliefs, pagans would naturally rise to the top of the list, because they don’t worship the Judeo-Christian God, whereas the rest might actually be believers. Evil, misguided ones, but believers nonetheless. So they MIGHT be redeemable. And if his list is in descending order, then lesbians are the least culpable of the bunch.

  16. legion Avatar
    legion

    @OzarkHillbilly: I’m pretty sure the tongue in Pat’s ass does not belong to God.

  17. Janis Gore Avatar
    Janis Gore

    I saw a really funny exchange about Mittens at Taegan Goddard’s yesterday:

    Ist commenter: Karma
    2nd commenter: …ran over his dogma.
    3rd commenter: I thought the dogma was on top of the karma.

  18. Janis Gore Avatar
    Janis Gore

    That’s an elitist joke.

  19. Kylopod Avatar
    Kylopod

    >That was actually Jerry Falwell

    But Robertson defended the remarks.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2001/09/15/us/after-attacks-finding-fault-falwell-s-finger-pointing-inappropriate-bush-says.html

  20. C. Clavin Avatar
    C. Clavin

    As in Israel…we need to seperate religion and politics.
    Robertson…like Hannity, Drudge, Limburger, McCain, Romney, and the rest need to be marginalized. Until then nothing will change.
    The fact that Robertson claims to hear voices should be enough to have him commuted.
    The fact that a major political party believes what he says should impeach that political party.
    Seriously…Dick Morris makes Pat Robertson look sane.

  21. Tsar Nicholas Avatar
    Tsar Nicholas

    What’s amazing about Robertson is that 25 years ago he was almost exactly at the same level of nutter. How is that even physiologically and psychologically possible? He’s like a programed robot of nuttiness.

  22. jukeboxgrad Avatar
    jukeboxgrad

    I thought the dogma was on top of the karma.

    It once looked like this:

    Mitt’s Dogma is strapped to the roof of his Karma.

  23. jukeboxgrad Avatar
    jukeboxgrad

    Speaking of God speaking, this is a good moment to recall that God sent two hurricanes to help Obama. Both Isaac and Sandy “guided Obama into re-election! The timing of both shows they greatly aided Obama … God did not want Romney as president. This is exceedingly clear … Look what God has done with Obama to get him re-elected.” Link.

  24. JoshB Avatar
    JoshB

    “Oh….. God said the RIGHT guy would win. I thought he said the WHITE guy would win. My bad.” – Pat Robertson

  25. OzarkHillbilly Avatar
    OzarkHillbilly

    @legion:

    I’m pretty sure the tongue in Pat’s ass does not belong to God.

    Shhhhhhhh…. Pat might hear you.

  26. bill Avatar
    bill

    i thought he was dead?

  27. lankyloo Avatar
    lankyloo

    It always cracks me up when God decides to screw around with these guys.

Latest Posts