Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth
If the shoe doesn't fit, wear it.
Over at Democracy Docket, Marc Elias asks, “Who will be the first to take off their shoes?“
When Joseph Stalin took the stage, applause wasn’t just standard. It meant your freedom.
As the crowd thundered with cheers, no one dared to break first. Not after two minutes. Not after four. Not after six. As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote in “The Gulag Archipelago,” “It was becoming insufferably silly even to those who adored Stalin.”
Finally, after 11 minutes, one man — the director of a paper factory — broke the spell. And with that one act of independence, he sealed his fate. The director was arrested that evening.
On his interrogation document, an important lesson was inked into the pages: “Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding!”
Now, Donald Trump’s men are learning the same lesson — the humiliating way. Although this time, the question is different: “Who will be the first to take off their shoes?”
Across Washington, D.C., a new fashion trend has taken hold of those in Trump’s circle: embarrassingly oversized clown shoes.
More specifically, a pair of $145 Florsheim oxfords. Trump is apparently obsessed with the shoes, and it’s getting weird. According to the Wall Street Journal, the president has taken to handing them out to Cabinet members, advisors and White House VIPs. He even makes it a game: guessing people’s shoe size, placing an order and then signing the box.
Forget policy and matters of government. At Cabinet meetings, Trump jumps in to ask, “Did you get the shoes?” As one female staffer noted, “All the boys have them.”
But this isn’t the type of gift horse you can safely look in the mouth. Another female White House staffer joked, “It’s hysterical because everybody’s afraid not to wear them.” Like Stalin, Trump is paying attention to see who stops clapping first.
Trump’s shoe test borders on humiliation ritual. They appear much too big on most of the recipients, and with their pants hemmed to match the president’s absurdly short length, it’s comical. One might assume that Trump purchases the incorrect sizes on purpose.
While the report, linked at memeorandum today, was the first I’d heard of this, the story has been circulating for a few days. It was apparently broken by WSJ’s Alex Leary (“Trump Is Obsessed With These $145 Shoes—and Won’t Let Anyone Leave Without a Pair“):
The hottest and most exclusive MAGA status symbol is a pair of leather oxfords.
Prefer a wingtip, loafer or monk strap? Black or brown?
President Trump’s got you.
Trump has been gifting footwear to agency heads, lawmakers, White House advisers and VIPs. “Did you get the shoes?” he asks at cabinet meetings. Some people have laced up in the Oval Office. During a lunch meeting in January, Trump suddenly pivoted to his “incredible” new shoes and gave Tucker Carlson a pair of brown wingtips.
“All the boys have them,” said a female White House official. Another joked, “It’s hysterical because everybody’s afraid not to wear them.” The shoe-salesman-in-chief is paying attention.
Trump has fallen in love with Florsheim, the American brand that’s been pairing comfort and style for more than a century. They’re also affordable: many cost $145.
The president has taken to guessing people’s shoe size in front of them. He asks an aide to put in an order and, a week later, a brown Florsheim box arrives at the White House. Trump sometimes signs the box or attaches a note of gratitude, according to people familiar with the ritual.
The 79-year-old billionaire, known for expensive Brioni suits, long red ties and a penchant for aesthetics, late last year began searching for something that would feel better after a day on the job and settled on Florsheim. Trump liked them so much he started dispensing them. He pays for the shoes, the White House said.
Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio have some. So do Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, Trump’s communications director Steven Cheung, deputy chief of staff James Blair and speechwriter Ross Worthington. Fox News personality Sean Hannity and Sen. Lindsey Graham each have a pair.
Recipients have taken to wearing their Florsheims around Trump, some apparently begrudgingly. One cabinet secretary has grumbled that he had to shelve his Louis Vuittons, according to people who heard the complaint.
Officially the White House wouldn’t confirm Trump’s choice of Florsheim. One recipient said Trump had a stack of them in an office. A box read “Scott”—for Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent.
[…]
Rubio and Vance received their Florsheims after a December meeting in the Oval Office.
Deep in conversation, Trump peered over the Resolute Desk at their feet, Vance recalled during an event later that day celebrating Kennedy Center honoree Sylvester Stallone. “Marco, JD, you guys have s—y shoes,” Trump declared before retrieving a catalog.
Esquire‘s Jonathan Evans, among others, has ridiculed Rubio over a photo that appears to show him wearing the shoes (which Evans adjudges to be the Lexington cap toe oxford) in a way-too-big size. The Bulwark‘s Cathy Young and Foreign Policy deputy editor James Palmer join Elias in speculating that this is a humiliation ritual. (Young also makes a Soviet analogy, albeit to Nikita Krushchev rather than Stalin.)
lt is, to say the least, unusual.
If the foo shits…
@Gregory Lawrence Brown: Perfect!
There is a point when behavior outstrips mere “eccentricity” and is better defined as pathological. We are well past that point. Add Trump’s shoe fetish to the growing and already long list.
My initial thought was that Trump had deliberately ordered all the shoes in the wrong sizes in order to accomplish two things:
1. Test the loyalty of his cabinet members by forcing them to wear ill-fitting shoes
and
2. Humiliate his cabinet members by forcing them to wear ill-fitting shoes.
Given that Trump enjoys humiliating people as much as he does demanding their loyalty, I’d say he’s got a two-fer here.
How long can Trump beclown the office, and his party, before Republicans start muttering about impeachment?
@gVOR10:
At this point? Probably never.
@CSK: He’s already forced the entire Republican Party including its base to wear an “outsized garment” ill-fitted to the diminutive size of the reality — HIM. Much to their own humiliation, but they can’t say anything because “if the foo shits”. And Brendan Carr is there to make sure our society keeps this ridiculous “attire” on.
Personally, I would never wear my tie down to my zipper to please anyone.
At least he’s not making them wear orange makeup yet.
Which means Couch Boy wears eyeliner of his own free will.
@gVOR10:
Stalin both helped build up Elon’s Germany’s armed forces and industry, and ignored warnings of impending attack by nazi forces. He trusted Elon to the point that when the invasion began, he was paralyzed by disbelief.
He expected NKVD goons or Red Army troops to try to arrest him for incompetence (to be charitable about it), partly because those below him on the hierarchy now had something they feared more than Stalin.
No one even tried. I think the reason was whoever did had an excellent chance of taking over, and then they’d have been stuck with the humongous disaster Stalin had created. Who’d want to take over such a burden?
El Taco hasn’t come close to a Stalin-level disaster. He has to hit a sweet spot where he makes things terrible but still fixable and becomes deeply unpopular with the deplorable base. I think he’ll skip that and go directly to things are terrible and too hard to fix.
I don’t feel better knowing that my government leaders can’t figure out to get a pair in the same style and color that fits, and then just keep thanking the president for the shoes, telling him he really got their size — “Wow, Mr. President, I always thought I was a 10 1/2, but these size 12 are the most comfortable I’ve ever worn, you really know your shoes.”
I want more competent evil. Evil that can manage both comfort and sucking up.
And it’s not like these are expensive shoes or these men aren’t rich. If they’re worried about the money, they could arrange a shoe swap.
@Gustopher:
If it’s a loyalty test and a humiliation tactic, they can’t right-size their footwear. If they did, El Taco might notice and punish them. Ditto if they stuffed newspaper to fill them in, and maybe even if they switch to better shoes outside El Taco’s presence. Their underlings might snitch.
@CSK:
The first thing that came to my mind is … ‘little Marco’ …
Better yet, Marco doesn’t seem to mind, I mean, he’s wearing those clown shoes.
Incidentally, Caligula was Latin for “little boots”,
A nickname that stuck
Obviously of no relevance to the current US adminstration whatsoever.
The story speaks to President Trump’s greatness. Even in the midst of the world-historic challenges he has to confront every day, he can still tackle the smallest matters with care and diligence. This is another example:
People should stop talking about putting him on Mt Rushmore. His greatness would be demeaned by such ordinary company.
@Ken_L:
Can’t you just put him on Mt Rushmore, and leave him there?
@gVOR10:
Only after they summon up the courage to stop clapping. I don’t recommend breath holding for even that much.
@Ken_L:
Gilt? I can only say what Jerry Falwell might say, “Jaaaaybuz”.
@gVOR10:
Gilt for the guilty.
@Kathy: That’s the rub — is it a humiliation ritual, or does is increasingly senile brain just want to share something he loves (cheap shoes) with his closest and most loyal followers.
If you assume that Trump will always do the worst thing, it’s the humiliation ritual.
If you assume that the end result will be the most pathetic thing, he’s trying to share. Badly.
I think the pathetic eclipses the malevolence in Trump. They often walk hand-in-hand, but if push comes to shove, I’m going with pathetic.
I just hope it’s never quite so pathetic that good people feel sorry for him. Pity might hurt him more than scorn, and that would be nice, but I just don’t want to put good people through sorrow for him — haven’t these mythical good people suffered enough?
Also, Trump is paying more for these shoes because of the tariffs. The owners of Florsheim are suing because of tariffs.
Link to thoroughly disreputable source, as it’s the first non-paywalled link I found searching “Trump shoes tariffs”. Feel free to “do your own research”, but there are reputable places with the same story.
https://www.themirror.com/news/politics/trump-florsheim-shoes-tariff-lawsuit-1738038
If you can set aside the fact that this man controls the ability to destroy the world in nuclear fire 15 times over, and is actively driving a once pretty OK nation (not to mention its rules based global order) into economic, cultural, and military ruin…this is a really good bit. Dozens of men who just a short two years ago thought they were on a pathway to personal greatness (or at least power) reduced to wearing clown shoes and little lord fauntleroy ass pants while they wait their turn to wake him up fr0m his nap/wipe his ass after his latest pants-shitting episode.
It’s a good bit!