Seasons Greetings

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .

and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

And I mean that sincerely!

FILED UNDER: Humor
Doug Mataconis
About Doug Mataconis
Doug Mataconis held a B.A. in Political Science from Rutgers University and J.D. from George Mason University School of Law. He joined the staff of OTB in May 2010 and contributed a staggering 16,483 posts before his retirement in January 2020. He passed far too young in July 2021.

Comments

  1. DRS says:

    Back atcha! Cheers and Happy Holidays!

  2. Fiona says:

    Same to you Doug. This post brought a smile to my face, especially the very lawyerly last paragraph.

  3. Dave Schuler says:

    The 21st century Hallmark.

  4. michael reynolds says:

    Mataconis lawyered us. I think we end up owing him $300.

  5. Gustopher says:

    An inclusive “Happy Holidays” on Christmas Eve? Come on, we know what that really means. Chanukah is already half over, Festivus is done, the Solstice passed, Kwanza could be anytime but we would never know, and those godless atheists get nothing — you’re really just wishing us a merry Christmas, you religious freak.

    Stop trying to shove your religion down our throats.

  6. Your beauracrat is strong young Padawan, but you still have much to learn from the master:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vShJa6GobFQ

  7. sam says:

    And some say lawyers are bloodless.

    God bless us one and all.

    And I do mean that.

  8. G.A.Phillips says:

    Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and happy paid days off to the rest of you….

    and if you do celebrate it I hope it’s about the birth of our Saviour, and or family, friends, good will, and love, and not for some of these…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZAL80TMLaE&feature=youtu.be

  9. Ron Beasley says:

    My special best wishes to James and his daughters. I’m sending some positive energy your way.

  10. Ernieyeball says:
  11. Ernieyeball says:

    Well I tried. When I clicked on the link before I posted it the video was about Trenton.. now it seems to start with Yorktown. If you scroll down you can start the Trenton story. Or maybe this will work.

    http://www.history.com/videos/george-washington-makes-surprise-attack-on-trenton

  12. OzarkHillbilly says:

    BAH!

    Lawyers, grumble grumble….

    HUMBUG!!!

    @G.A.Phillips:

    Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it and happy paid days off to the rest of you….

    Holidays are potholes in the road of life. And for a Union carpenter, unpaid at that. Still, to all, enjoy it. And special thoughts and wishes for James and his daughters.

    tom

  13. G.A.Phillips says:

    Holidays are potholes in the road of life. And for a Union carpenter, unpaid at that.

    I was debating whether to offend those without jobs, those having to work or them who are not paid, but you know me….

  14. G.A.Phillips says:

    Oh and thanks for the dislikes. Yet I am wondering? Was it my well wishing, my joke or the truth I slipped in there?

  15. Peterh says:

    michael reynolds says:
    Saturday, December 24, 2011 at 15:46
    Mataconis lawyered us. I think we end up owing him $300.

    While it wasn’t explicitly stated, believe there was an implied “pro bono” thingie there….so Cheers and thx for the freebie Doug…..