Anticipatory Retaliation posts a list of 213 mostly amusing quips and observations from a, likely apocryphal, “SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans.”
Some favorites:
7. Not allowed to add ‘In accordance with the prophesy’ to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
29. The Irish MPs are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.
48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.
55. An order to ‘Put Kiwi on my boots’ does *not* involve fruit.
56. An order to ‘Make my Boots black and shiny’ does not involve electrical tape.
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.
These are likely funnier if you’ve been in the military.
