23 responses to “CAPTION CONTEST”

1. 

   Rodney Dill

   November 24, 2003 at 1:16 pm

   Pancakes with the right,
   Sausage with the left.
2. 

   Steven

   November 24, 2003 at 1:35 pm

   “I have re-launched my campaign to become the President of IHOP. I pledge to allow the UN more say over the menu.”
3. 

   Norbizness

   November 24, 2003 at 1:36 pm

   “Hey, Kerry! Those flapjacks are just great…. for me to POOP on!”
4. 

   Alex Knapp

   November 24, 2003 at 1:51 pm

   Senator John Kerry (D – MA), prepares pancakes for a crowd in Iowa. Senator Kerry claims to have learned his pancake making technique when he fought in Vietnam.
5. 

   Anonymous

   November 24, 2003 at 1:53 pm

   Pancakes are like issues – you have to work both sides of them
6. 

   medicmom

   November 24, 2003 at 1:58 pm

   Yes, I will be going back to my old job of flippin’ pancakes at the Waffle House when I loose the election.
7. 

   Dodd

   November 24, 2003 at 2:21 pm

   If you think this is good, you should see me turn a waffle!
8. 

   Sean Hackbarth

   November 24, 2003 at 3:02 pm

   This is what my fired campaign staff is doing right now.
9. 

   Kate

   November 24, 2003 at 3:51 pm

   French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, who by the
   way served pancakes in Vietnam, fired his latest campaign manager after Sunday’s unfortunate faux pas at Atkins Dieters For Kerry Headquarters.
10. 

    Jay Solo

    November 24, 2003 at 3:57 pm

    Photographic proof that Kerry flipped years ago.
11. 

    Rodney Dill

    November 24, 2003 at 4:37 pm

    “How do I expect to win the presidential election you ask? Just as easily as I levitate this pancake, I will use mind over matter to influence the simple minds of voters everywhere. Minds so simple that they cannot cast a valid ballot. I expect to win especially big in Florida.”
12. 

    Rodney Dill

    November 24, 2003 at 4:41 pm

    To compete with the Poliblog Toast-O-Meter, James has asked Senator John Kerry to demonstrate the new OTB Democratic Candidate Flat-O-Meter. Kerry’s rating: Flat as a pancake.
13. 

    Jim

    November 24, 2003 at 4:59 pm

    My chance of being elected president exactly equals the chance that this pancake will not come back down.
14. 

    Hodink

    November 24, 2003 at 5:56 pm

    Kerry vowed to actively celebrate all 365 national holidays. Here we see him on Pancake Day.
15. 

    Matthew Stinson

    November 24, 2003 at 6:18 pm

    Damn you Rodney, for stealing my thunder. My caption, which now seems derivative:

    New Kerry advisor Bob Shrum (off-camera): “Ok John, this is keep flipping that pancake until it’s as flat as your poll numbers.”
16. 

    Rodney Dill

    November 24, 2003 at 7:08 pm

    Matthew,
    Sometimes the derivatives come across funnier. Especially when they are simpler. I have another one on the way, but I don’t think anyone will pre-empt this caption, at least not all of it.
17. 

    Bouhaki

    November 24, 2003 at 9:34 pm

    Kerry gets ready for his semi-retirement. You start with pancakes then move up to greeter at Wal-Mart.
18. 

    mark

    November 24, 2003 at 10:01 pm

    “I was in Vietnam. I came back and protested that war. I have been in public service for over twenty freakin’ years. And I am LOSING…TO…HOWARD…F&#KING…DEAN?”
19. 

    Rodney Dill

    November 24, 2003 at 10:13 pm

    And now for the moment you’ve all been dreading……
    The Top Ten Reasons that The John Kerry wishes that Michael Jackson were with him at the pancake flipping photo opportunity.

    Number …
    10. “Michael has already flipped before.”
    9. “With Michael in handcuffs, my flipping will look just that much better.”
    8. “The next time I have to mix up some more batter, I can have Michael sing Beat it.”
    7.”Why not, my candidacy is already in Never-Never Land.”
    6. “If I play my cards right I might get to meet Liz Taylor.”
    5. “Michael will keep all the f**king kids of my constituents off my back.”
    4. “I’m really tired of photo ops that only attract Michael Moore.”
    3. “After being here, the next time he hangs one of his kids out the window, it’ll have an Elect Kerry bumper sticker on its butt.”
    2. “Compared to Michael, these pancakes won’t make me look like I have pasty white skin.”

    And the number 1 reason that John Kerry wishes Michael were here.

    1. “With an extra hand to help out, I could use both of my hands to flip pancakes.”
20. 

    JW

    November 25, 2003 at 11:32 am

    “You think flipping pancakes is hard? Try flipping issue positions when your every word is preserved in the Congressional Record–THAT’S hard.”
21. 

    Sean Hackbarth

    November 25, 2003 at 11:39 pm

    I promise you I won’t be using Vermont maple syrup with these pancakes.
22. 

    Hermoine

    November 30, 2003 at 9:40 am

    Flipping the pancake gave Kerry visions of platform flipping but, to be sure, he was wayyyyyyyyyyy ahead of himself.