41 responses to “CAPTION CONTEST”

1. 

   Matthew Stinson

   December 30, 2003 at 2:49 pm

   Ariel Sharon prepares to reveal to the world his secret combination weight loss / Middle East peace plan.
2. 

   Zipity

   December 30, 2003 at 3:27 pm

   “Why yes, I do like my nuts on ice, why do you ask?”
3. 

   Kate

   December 30, 2003 at 3:34 pm

   “I’m ice fishing. There”s suckers in this lake.”
4. 

   Terry Oglesby

   December 30, 2003 at 3:36 pm

   Proof that there is something colder than a well-digger’s ass.
5. 

   Kate

   December 30, 2003 at 3:38 pm

   “Yup, Ralphie, there’s 5″ of ice. We can drive the truck to the shack.”
6. 

   Stephen Green

   December 30, 2003 at 4:06 pm

   An aging Jean Claude van Damme attempts to rescue his career with Time Cop II.
7. 

   Rodney Dill

   December 30, 2003 at 5:16 pm

   “Yes I did stick my tongue to a flag pole as a child, why do you ask?”
8. 

   Rodney Dill

   December 30, 2003 at 5:19 pm

   Packer fan preparing for a play-off game at Lambeau Field.

   (sidebar: God Bless Nate Poole)
9. 

   Rodney Dill

   December 30, 2003 at 5:23 pm

   “Please hand me the pliers, I need to get up now.”
10. 

    Rodney Dill

    December 30, 2003 at 5:25 pm

    Austin Powers in Cold Member
11. 

    Rachel Edith

    December 30, 2003 at 6:10 pm

    Rummy told me once, “There are known knowns; these are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” And this, well, this is another category. This is something I should have known.
12. 

    Hodink

    December 30, 2003 at 6:18 pm

    “A description, huh? Well, let’s see. It is, ahhhh, huge. And ahhhh, like I said, huge. And it looks like everybody else’s. Except this one is really, really, ahhhh, huge.”
13. 

    Hermoine

    December 30, 2003 at 6:24 pm

    Read our collection
    of funny stories
    about stupid people.
14. 

    George Castanza

    December 30, 2003 at 7:25 pm

    It’s shrinkage I tell ya, Shrinkage. She does know about shrinkage doesn’t she?!?!

    George Costanza

    (look at the pic again if needed)
15. 

    JW

    December 30, 2003 at 9:21 pm

    Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
16. 

    Merv Benson

    December 30, 2003 at 10:06 pm

    I’m stuck and can’t get up.
17. 

    Bouhaki

    December 30, 2003 at 11:06 pm

    “Look buddy, living here is good neither for the body nor the mind.”
18. 

    medicmom

    December 31, 2003 at 2:05 am

    “Just a few more inches and then you can lick the ice out of my belly button.”
19. 

    Mark Hasty

    December 31, 2003 at 9:23 am

    Having misunderstood what the bartender said, Frank anxiously anticipated how this good piece of ice would solve all his problems.
20. 

    Rodney Dill

    December 31, 2003 at 9:30 am

    “Alright, I promise I won’t forget the Auger the next time we go ice fishing.”
21. 

    Lasting Magic

    December 31, 2003 at 9:17 pm

    “You have to be careful with your appendages around here. I used to have fingers on my left hand. I no longer have a big toe on my left foot. Not to mention, well, you know.”
22. 

    (Beloved) Chortle

    January 1, 2004 at 11:52 am

    “You know that insurance company with the duck? That duck gave a very good speech while eating a hot dog. Then he screamed …’affict!’ Everybody signed up pronto to insure certain organs.”
23. 

    Hermoine

    January 1, 2004 at 4:37 pm

    “Not to worry, mate. To be sure, I have stuck it in considerably more dangerous places than this.”
24. 

    Elvis

    January 1, 2004 at 4:43 pm

    “Yes, I agree. It is an odd place for a glory hole.”
25. 

    Martin

    January 2, 2004 at 2:21 pm

    “I’m trying to drill to China.”
26. 

    Rachel Edith

    January 2, 2004 at 2:33 pm

    “Ordinarily, Officer, I do wear clothes. This is the property where I had my igloo. It was stolen. That’s my bath tub over there. Old habits, like exercising, taking a bath and getting dressed, die hard.”
27. 

    Hodink

    January 2, 2004 at 8:08 pm

    “Happy New Year, they said. We could have a two week free membership. But what happened was they sent my member off in a ship.”
28. 

    McGehee

    January 4, 2004 at 8:16 pm

    Winner of the 2003 Nude Middle-Aged Overweight Male Cheerleading Competition™, as seen exclusively on ESPN/WTF, the Second Channel for Men.
29. 

    Steven

    January 4, 2004 at 8:25 pm

    “I take Levitra to stay in the game-and trust me, I need it after doing this.”
30. 

    charles austin

    January 4, 2004 at 8:48 pm

    “Yea, it’s a great trick, but I can only do it once.”
31. 

    charles austin

    January 4, 2004 at 8:54 pm

    “I’m too sexy for my clothes, too sexy for my clothes…”
32. 

    charles austin

    January 4, 2004 at 8:56 pm

    It’s good to know that Allen Funt can still find work, even if he did die 4 years ago.
33. 

    JW

    January 4, 2004 at 9:37 pm

    “I dunno, Sonny. Ya t’ink I’d looka betta inna teddy, Sonny? I dunno, Sonny–go’n ask Joey, wilya, Sonny?”

    (all dialog in a heavy Marlon-Brando-in-The-Godfather accent)
34. 

    JW

    January 4, 2004 at 9:41 pm

    “Whuddayu lookin’ at, wiseguy?”
    (assuming the subject in the photograph is a New Yorker)
35. 

    JW

    January 4, 2004 at 10:02 pm

    “You really think this picture will get me on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?”
36. 

    Rodney Dill

    January 5, 2004 at 9:42 am

    “Pardon me, my mistake, I didn’t realize you were talking about the Democratic Primaries when you said ‘Let’s put those nuts on ice’.
37. 

    Rodney Dill

    January 5, 2004 at 10:21 am

    I think Sidney Freeman gave me bad advice.

    (cryptic caption of the week)
38. 

    Rachel Edith

    January 5, 2004 at 11:15 am

    “I am the prototype for the Rover probe.”
39. 

    Rodney Dill

    January 5, 2004 at 3:34 pm

    Even while NASA celebrates their successful Mars landing, they have put their plans to explore the 7th planet on hold as Uranus remains as cold and inhospitable as ever.