An offhand comment from a male friend that guys like to look at the Facebook profiles of their female friends creeped Amanda Marcotte out, to the amusement of Radley Balko. But the substance of Marcotte’s piece is actually more interesting than the topline.
But my friend told me guys aren’t looking for dirty pictures on Facebook, they’re looking at ordinary pictures of women, the kind that you and I associate with Facebook. Women partying with friends. Women goofing off in the park. Women sitting at home trying on a pose that’s serious and deep. At worst, they’re looking at women in Facebook-approved sexy poses, or pictures from the beach.
“I think the theory is that the women on Facebook are, if nothing else, real,” he explained, “and often people that you might have a real-life attraction to.”
[…]
On one hand, it’s hard not to feel optimistic if so many men are having fantasies about “real” women. Many straight women are plagued by the fear that the endless supply of photographed sex objects offered to men as fantasy fodder means guys are losing their taste for boring, everyday women with imperfect human bodies.
[…]
On the other hand, there’s an undeniable ick factor to the idea of men getting off to pictures you posted for your friends to platonically peruse. No one wants to think of their male friends (or worse, their coworkers or bosses) projecting them into sex fantasies.
As I joked on Twitter, I expect a marked increase in traffic to Marcotte’s Facebook profile after this.
On a more serious note, though, I’d reiterate a point I’ve made repeatedly over the years: Use a modicum of judgment in what you’re posting online. If you’re a good looking woman, there’s probably not much you’re going to do to dissuade male fantasy; I’m not even sure why you’d want to. But your public profile shouldn’t be easily confused with a porn site, either, unless you’re making a conscious decision in that direction.
UPDATE: Lest I be accused of blaming the “victim” here, I’m making a tangential point rather than a direct one: People are looking at your profiles, so you ought to be cognizant of how you’re perceived. As I say, there’s not much women can do to prevent males from fantasizing about their pics if they’re hot. Men fantasized about their hot female friends before Facebook. Or computers. Or cameras.
